Mikasa's pov.
I was sat behind him, not necessarily watching him sleep but I wasn't ignoring him either. He was just there head on the table, hood up, beats on. It was probably the first time I've seen him so calm. I got my phone out and also started to listen to music.
Around five minutes later I saw him wake up. I couldn't let him leave, not until we sort this thing out,
"I see you're awake then." he heard me but he didn't stop, he started to move faster,
"looks like it" I grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving
"Jean we need to talk about this " I said. I felt his arm tense up,
"Do we? Because people only talk about this shit when one of them doesn't understand what's going on and you've made it pretty clear that you don't like me" he shouted
"That's the thing, you don't know the full story so if you want to understand 'this shit' you're gonna have to listen to mine " he nodded and we sat down
"go on then. Explain"
"What do want to know?"
"Well first I wanna know who you are" I nodded "my name is Mikasa Ackerman, I'm the adoptive brother of Eren Jeager and adoptive daughter of Grisha and Carla." question 1 down loads more to go
"wait why adopted?" I looked down and digged my head in my scarf. I went into my bag and got out some of my old embroidery. I handed him the piece.
"my parents died when I was nine, this is the only thing I have to remember them. It's the only reason I talked you that day." he scoffed
"you talked to me because of some embroidery " I took it back and put it in my bag.
"I talked to you that day because I was worried about you, how you were coping after Marco and your mother dying." I saw his facial expression change and I knew I stepped over the line .
"that's not what I meant Jean, I meant that I wanted to help you get through this, get out of the bottomless pit, that I was stuck in, that I still am stuck in." I stood up and walked to him
"The one I'm going deeper into get you out of!" he pulled his hair back to the point where it looked like it was coming out.
" I-I don't I don't know ho-how discreet or-or subtle I-I have to be for you, a-all of you to understand th-that" the volume in his voice was rising this every stutter that he made "that I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS IN THIS PIT WITH ME, I-I DONT CARE HOW LONG YOUR ROPE IS OR I-IF YOU HAVE A HARNESS A-AND A HOOK" he stepped forward and I stepped back by reflex he noticed and nodded
"See. You all chat shit about helping us but when we get close that's when you take that step back, the step away from us. All of you. Every single one: therapists, friends, family, girlfriend, boyfriend, even your own children. We're all on our own. No matter what we have, be it depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, eating disorders, addictions, dual personality, borderline personality, anything! They all shut us out in the end" he turned back around to face the window
"the isn't a rope out there long enough for me," he looked at me with a smile, that very same smile he gave me on the day we met, the one with a shit load of pain hidden it
"but you know I've accepted that. Now, now it's your turn. Accept it." He was about to walk away but I couldn't let that happen, I had to clear this up
"Jean wait," I wasn't close enough to grab him so I had to use my voice to get his attention
"Look, I'm already in the pit, and I haven't got any rope, all I got to do is come find you and we can get out together. That's why I talked to you that day. " he looked speechless, as if he was searching for the words but he was looking in a thesaurus instead of dictionary.
"I need to think about this" he got up and walked but once again I couldn't let that happen. I had one more question to ask him
"Jean, are we still on for Saturday?" he tapped his head trying to remember
"I'll think about that too." I had to do it now. Its now or never.
I closed the distance between, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards me. I kissed him ever so gently and when he kissed back I knew it had worked.
It was a slow one, a sweet one, one that I knew couldn't last forever but I wished it would. I pulled away and placed my forehead on his. I took a breath and said
"I hope that helps you decide." he pulled away and ran down the corridor.
After school.
"Mikasa, guess what?!" Eren came barging through my door to me with the biggest smile on his face.
"let me guess, you got onto the team?" I knew that when he got onto the team he'd come and bragg in my face
"nope" I was shocked. There was no way Eren didn't get on the team
"you didn't make the team?!"
"Oh yep I did that, so did Jean easily, he's really talented you know at like everything, he does art, sport and all kinds of things" he just kept talking and talking about Jean and all the things he was saying, I already knew.
"Looks like your the one with the crush on Jean now" he looked at me instantly
"You have a crush on Jean" I stood up
"well duh. Anyway what?" I put my book down and got out my phone "I went and got a job." I almost dropped my phone
"congrats what is it?" just then I got a text from Jean :
'See you on Saturday but be prepared it's a busy day which means you'll have to sleep at mine on Friday
Bye'
I smiled knowing I'll be spending more time with him
"Mikasa, I was saying I'm a delivery guy but there's no pay since I'm doing it for a favour and I start Saturday "
YOU ARE READING
Picking up the pieces - a JeanKasa story
FanfictionHe hides his emotions behind a smile and a bad attitude. The teachers hate him and his group of friends is very small. You think you know him but you have no idea... At home Jean's brother and mother both died leaving him with depression, anxiety a...
