Mikasa's pov
I was in the bathroom looking at the marks Jean's dad left on my body, the was one on my neck, a few on each arm and some on my thigh I put on a turtle neck to cover it up and went to find the boys.
They were both sat in the gallery and Jean was explaining what we were doing and how this would work. Shortly after I came back, Jean stopped talking and Eren stood up, took some of the packaged paintings and left,
" hey Jean, what am I doing? I wasn't here and I wasn't listening" I laughed
"yeah I know, you kept looking at me weirdly, anyway since your not working here long-term I can't give you a job that I wouldn't do so I was going to let you do the packaging so that when Eren comes back he can go and deliver the ones you've just packaged" he smiled and showed me how to wrap the paintings
"why not long term?" I asked him
"well with Eren, he asked me to teach him how to box, so I asked him to help me with my art. But with you, as much as I would love to see you all the time there is nothing I could possibly teach you, and that would make it labour"
damn I guess Jean really does think this shit through but he's wrong though there is one thing,
"hey there is one thing, you know that thing you were doing at the park with the monkey bars. Something beginning with c, cali-" he seemed to know what I was talking about,"calisthenics?" I nodded and stuck out my hand
"it's a done deal."
He handed me the painting he did the other day, when I was wrapping it I realised I was kind of sad that he was giving it away, I guess I wanted it on my wall, my thoughts drifted to my feeling for Jean and his possible feelings for me.
I know I'm in love with him and Jean knows I'm in love with him so the only thing that would be stopping us from being together is that he doesn't love me or doesn't want to be with me, Jean dragged me from my thoughts by giving me a slight shake,
"Mikasa are you okay?"
I snapped myself out of it and saw that he was right in front of me, I gave a subtle nod telling him I was okay,
"Mikasa you were crying, somethings up" I couldn't take it anymore he was right there, with his perfectly chiselled face and when he wiped my tears with his thumb... I snapped.
I got my arms around his neck and pushed my lips against his. I felt his hands travel down to my waist and pull me closer, we pulled away to get some oxygen,
"Mikasa, we can't" our foreheads were still touching
"why not? You know how much I love you and from that kiss it looks like you love me just as much" I was on the verge of tears. I can't have Jean reject me,
"I do love you, really I do, but believe me, Loving me is a losing game." I shook my head,
"then I'll find a cheat code, secret passageway. Whatever I have to do to be with you" he pushed me away and started pulling his hair, like he did when we last talked about this stuff,
"N-no Mikasa y-you don't get it e-every other person th-that I've loved is dead, has left me o-or turned out like my dad, I-I can't lose you, so we can't" whenever he stutters like this, there is something seriously wrong so I took his shaking hands away from his hair and held them tightly,
"Jean you won't lose me okay? You won't but you've got to trust me. I'm not stepping back anymore." he nodded
"okay"
"okay?" I laughed "okay!" I gave him a light peck on the lips and we carried on working.
"Someone's happy" Jean was in the bathroom and Eren had just come back from his deliveries,
"well of course, you were too when you'd got with Christa," the tone of my voice made it clear I was bragging
"you got with Jean!" the tone in his voice was too surprised.
"Yeah, but Jean wasn't in the best of moods so we haven't talked much about it." I saw Eren smile
"I'm happy for you" he said as he hugged me from behind
"I'm heading back home. I'll see you later?" I nodded and he left. I noticed Jean left for the bathroom about ten minutes ago and he hadn't come out, I knocked on the door and there was no answer,
"Jean? Are you okay? You've been in there for a while now?" but there was still no answer
"Jean I'm gonna come in now okay? I'm just checking if you're alright." I opened the door saw the curtain drawn with water and red seeping out of it, I let out a short gasp,
"Mikasa?" I saw Jean's head poke
"why weren't you answering me I've been calling you for ages! I was seriously worried about you!" he chuckled
"thank you Mikasa, I'm good" it hurts that he still won't tell me whats up but I won't pry into it so I left the room and waited for him to come out.
I sat down on the couch and got out my phone, I went onto Snapchat and started to text Sasha with the complete story of what happened today.
I ended up falling asleep on the couch before Jean got out of the shower but when I woke up saw that he was next to me asleep as well. I kissed his forehead, and shuffled myself out of his grasp and walked back into the gallery.
Just admiring the works and Jean as a whole. I looked around and saw a drawing that looked just like me but it was a really shitty drawing, like seriously shitty compared to Jean now.
When I checked the back for a signature and I saw 'Jean's phantom dream girl 2010' if that was 2010 then it means that I hadn't been adopted just yet because I had just turned eight and my parents were still alive I was on the other side of the country then, so how did he get this?
"Jean, I was looking around the gallery and I found a picture of me now drawn ten years ago when we were both six years old?" he nodded
"Jean don't you understand we didn't know each other back then, heck I didn't even know Eren then" he then looked over at the drawing and started to laugh
"oh I remember her. She would always come up in my dreams and when I told Marco about it he told me to draw her and me being eight years old it was pretty good so I started to get into art which then led me to photography which got me here."
he stood up and walked up to me "I guess your my guardian angel" he said as he leaned in to kiss me, I didn't notice since I was still looking at the drawing, I heard him laugh and then he gently kissed me.
I liked how calm it was, we were going our own pace we may have finished the race last but we get to enjoy it.
"Jean I don't want to rush this, I want to enjoy it as we go, nothing ever mattered to me more than this" he kissed my forehead
"I love you"
YOU ARE READING
Picking up the pieces - a JeanKasa story
FanficHe hides his emotions behind a smile and a bad attitude. The teachers hate him and his group of friends is very small. You think you know him but you have no idea... At home Jean's brother and mother both died leaving him with depression, anxiety a...