Sanders Sides

Logicality pt 1

Third Person, Patton's POV

Patton was sitting at the table in the lounge in Thomas's mind, eating breakfast to start the day. It had been a while since he'd spent time with his dark strange son, also known as Virgil. He was planning a movie night to try to bond, and talk about the new hip things with the kids these days, like those cool music devices and breakdancing. Virgil would probably know about that, he was the most 'with it' kid Patton had ever known, after all.

Patton continued daydreaming about breakdancing... which somehow led to him thinking about dolphins in sunglasses and glittery skirts. Morality's thought process can be a bit... all over the place. He giggled at the mental image and continued eating his food, not noticing the door opening and someone walking in.

Logan loomed above Patton, his glasses glinting in such a way that you couldn't see his eyes. He spoke in a sharp, stern voice. "Morality. What have you done with my necktie? I'd woken up to it gone, and I know that the others have enough sense to never come remotely near it when it is off of my body, besides possibly Remus, but I've interrogated him already, so, using my famous skills of deduction, I determined it must've been you who took it. Where is it?"

Patton glanced up from his sugary cereal. "Oh sure! I took it last night to try out something I saw in a magazine at the dentists office that Thomas went to the other day. Lemme show ya!"

Logan pursed his lips in an attempt to control his temper. "Firstly, it is 'let me' and 'you'. And secondly, never. Touch. The necktie. It is one of my defining qualities and I desire it back in my possession."

Patton grinned. "Sure can do!" He whipped something long, thin, and strangely glittery out of a random pocket of air. "Here it is! I read in the magazine that the next big thing was ✨bedazzling✨! So I bedazzled your tie thingy! Dontcha like it?"

In seeing the bedazzled necktie Logan lost it a little bit, raising his voice slightly. "Like it? No. Not at all. In fact I dislike it very much." He looked up at Patton's grinning face and snapped. "And it is a NECKTIE, AND THE CORRECT WORDING IS 'DON'T YOU'!"

Patton continued eating his overly sugared cereal. "Well I'm sorry I'm not the typo guy to know how to say things."

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting back a headache named Morality. "That joke didn't even make sense. A typo is a misspelling in a written statement, usually on a device. Therefore, that pun, if you could even call it that, was unneeded and quite honestly, unwelcome."

"You're just jealous that I know how to bedazzle and you don't."

Logan bit back a scream of frustration. "Your personality is the most frivolous, extraneous, and exaggerated I have ever come across and quite frankly, it is aggravating."

"Aw thanks, Logan, you really do know-it-all, using all those big words and stuff." Patton continued with his breakfast, unfazed by the hurtful words that Logan was throwing around, and subtly calling Logan a know-it-all in the process.

Logan made a growl of frustration, snatched his necktie and stalked away, probably to try to pry the false jewels off of his precious necktie in his room.

Patton let out a breath now that Logan was gone, and glared after him. Logan just didn't understand him. Patton had so many feelings and puns and laughs, and he didn't get why Logan didn't like that. So mayyyybe he decided to be a little bit petty with the puns and the dad jokes, and mayyyybe he decided to be overly emotional, just a little bit, just to teach Logan a lesson. No harm done. Right?

Third Person, Logan's POV

The amount of gall that Morality must've had in taking Logan's only possession that he had asked specifically not to be touched was absolutely unthinkable. And 'bedazzling' it? How was anyone supposed to take him seriously with a necktie covered in false jewels that aren't even convincingly real? The other sides had a problem with taking Logan seriously already, which he would never understand. He was Logic, the literal voice of reason, and yet nobody listened to him.

Logan growled in frustration as he stalked toward his room, already trying to pry the 'bedazzle' off of the necktie. He entered his room and sat on the chair he had in front of his extremely organized desk. He sighed with contempt as he realized that the false jewels were not going to come off of his necktie. He was simply going to have to use the backup, the one he'd used before the sides switched outfits. It made him slightly upset that the tie wasn't quite as long as the other one, and that it didn't match the new shirt quite as well, but he took a deep breath and let it go.

He shook his head to himself, grabbed his vocab cards, and left to go find someone, anyone, just to rant about Morality's antics. He found himself wandering toward Virgil's room. He would understand how- Logan checked his vocabulary cards- 'extra' that Morality was being. He knocked on the door of Anxiety's room.

"What do you want now, Princey? I told you you can't have my sick nasty Tim Burton posters already, didn't I?" Virgil called from behind the door.

"Actually, Virgil, I believe you have some misinformation, you see, it is me, Logan, at your door. Not Roman. I need to speak with you."

"Uh- yeah, sure I guess. Come in?" Virgil opened the door, revealing the same creepy room space that Logan had seen before. "So, uh, what do you need to talk about-"

Logan cut him off. "It's Morality. There is a big problem that I have that involves him."

Virgil smirked. "I see."

Logan looked at Virgil, confused. "No... I don't think you do see. I have a problem with Morality being extremely overzealous and ruining my things, and over doing the puns that don't even make sense, not... whatever you're thinking."

Anxiety sighed, slightly disappointed. "Well what do you want me to do about it? You obviously came here for some reason."

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. "Possibly it was because I needed someone to speak to who I know wouldn't make fun of my way of expressing my-" Logan gagged a little bit. "My... feelings."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Everybody has feelings, Logan. Even you."

Logan sighed. "The only feeling I could possibly possess in this moment is frustration or anger. Morality confuses me, he frustrates me, and I simply do not understand why he is the way that he is, and quite honestly, at this point I believe he does it on purpose."

"He doesn't do it on purpose. Probably. Patton isn't petty like that, he probably doesn't even know you're mad at him, he's kind of clueless."

"Oh, he knows. And he pretends to be unfazed by my outbursts of temper just to make a statement."

"Or maybe he doesn't actually even know what you're saying. Once again, he's kind of clueless." Virgil patted Logan on the back, which made him flinch a little from the unexpected show of affection.

"If he's really bothering you, just ignore him. That's what I do when something's bothering me. I ignore it until it goes away. Like Princey when he's being an idiot."

Logan sighed. "I suppose I'll experiment with using your way, even though it doesn't make logical sense, it seems to have worked for you. Thank you for the help, Virgil. I'll be on my way now."

"See you later, Logan." Virgil went back to listening to MCR on his bed as Logan walked out of Anxiety's room. He went back to his own room and sat down on his hard, cold chair, a perfect thinking environment, and began formulating a plan to avoid Morality entirely. This was going to work perfectly if Logan had any say in it.