𝗘𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗟𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 [ 𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 ] ❜

𝐹𝑒𝑒𝑙

𝐼𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ - 𝑅𝑜𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑠 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑌/𝑁, ℎ𝑒 is 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔
𝐼'𝑚 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑅𝑜𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑠 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡

Inspired by : Feel ~ Robbie Williams

♡'･ᴗ･'♡♡'･ᴗ･'♡♡'･ᴗ･'♡♡'･ᴗ･'♡

A living room, Los Angeles, 2010

I just wanna feel

Real love

Feel the home that I live in

I smiled to myself as Robbie's crisp voice serenaded in my ear. A feeling of quiet, calm content washed over me as his calloused hands tangled themselves in my hair.

He and I had been together for almost a year now. I'd met him during one of the darkest times in his life, a time I remember doubting he could ever survive. Yet somehow we'd made it, together. Robbie was finally clean and sober, for the first time since he was 18.

You'd find us most of the time, in fact all of it, just sat here in silence on his sofa, legs tangled together and my head on his shoulder. Robbie had agoraphobia, amongst other things, and leaving the house had become near impossible for him. I know it wasn't healthy, and that it maybe meant our battles weren't over just yet, but right now he was here.  He was safe, he was alive, in my arms, and that's all I wanted to matter.

Today, the TV was playing in the background. Some old romantic comedy in black and white, but neither of us were particularly paying attention to it. I was more focused on the sound of his singing.

"You are so fucking beautiful, Y/N." That was the thing about Robbie, he never failed to make me blush. I turned my body round to face him.

"Look at yourself, sweetheart." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, and my heart clenched painfully. Robbie had always been insecure, to the point it nearly killed him. After so many years spent in Gary's shadow, and being constantly belittled by Nigel, my boyfriend's confidence was non existent. The Robbie that goes up on stage and performs to millions of people every year, the one that up until a year ago I only knew of, has always been just a façade. The Robbie behind the fallen curtain was sad, vulnerable and above all frightened. But that Robbie was also the one I'd fallen for, and to me, he was everything.

"Robbie, you're absolutely stunning, don't you dare think otherwise." This time, he tried a genuine smile, but I could still see the trepidation laced in his emerald orbs. I sighed, taking his hands in mine, gently.

"I mean it, babe, from the bottom of my heart, I really do." He took our intertwined hands and brought my finger tips to his lips, pressing chaste kisses on each one before speaking again.

"God, I love you so much." My eyes widened and so did his as he realised what he said.

That was the first time he'd ever said it. I suppose, for all the time we'd spent in rehab this past year, there had never been time to consider love. Our relationship, just kind of, happened. I don't even think we admitted to 'liking' each other in the first place. I'd just gone to visit him at rehab one day, and a few hours later we were kissing on the bathroom floor. Maybe this was the perfect time to finally say it. As I went to respond, however, Rob abruptly jumped in. 

"I-I'm sorry that just slipped...I-I didn't mean it!" His response was like a cold slap to the face, and I struggled to find the right words.

"That kind of thing doesn't just slip, Rob." Guilt flashed briefly on his face, before he got up from the sofa, leaving me cold.

"Fuck, I-I'm sorry!" With that, he disappeared upstairs, slamming the door.

I was hurt, yes, but something felt off. In fact, there was something telling me there was more to this. I recognised the look on his face when it dawned on him. It was the same one he had, every time he went up on stage. It was just his bloody insecurity again, it had to be. At least that's what I kept telling myself, for god knows what I'd do if it wasn't. I had to tell him I felt the same.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I walked up the stairs and knocked on the shut door.

"R-rob, can I come in?" I got no response.

"Please sweetheart. Let me talk to you." After what seemed like forever, he spoke.

"What is there to fucking talk about?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"You know exactly what."

"I-I already said I didn't mean it. Let's just move on ok? I'm sorry I stormed off like a kid." Internally, I was screaming, but kept a cool head on the outside.

"No Rob, I don't want you to move on. Why is such a big deal that you love me? We've been together for almost a year now" At this, the door was swung open wide.

"Why is it such a big fucking deal? Y/N, I just told the only woman that I might have actually wanted to spend the rest of my life with that I loved her and she doesn't even feel the same. I'm sorry if you think this is an overreaction!" I choked back a sob.

"W-why wouldn't she feel the s-same?" His face visibly softened, and he hesitated before speaking.

"B-because she's the most gorgeous, most extraordinary woman I've ever met, and she's stuck in these four walls with me, the biggest piece of fucking scum in history." It was at that moment, I felt my heart shatter into tiny pieces on the floor. Shit, I loved him so much.

"But that's just the thing Rob, you're not 'fucking scum.' You are the most beautiful, incredible person she's ever met, in fact, you've turned her entire world, upside down and she-" I cut myself off momentarily, taking a timid step towards his wavering figure in the doorframe.

"-she loves you too." It took a few seconds for my words to register with him, but once they did, he could barely keep the grin off his face.

"Y-you mean that?" I was barely able to nod, for a pair of velvet lips had crashed onto mine, almost knocking me completely backwards. God knows how many times we'd kissed before, but somehow this one felt different. It felt tender and pure. 

It felt like real love, in the home that we lived in. 

♡'･ᴗ･'♡♡'･ᴗ･'♡♡'･ᴗ･'♡♡'･ᴗ･'♡

Someone please hand me the tissue box-

Not the longest piece I've ever written, but I didn't wanna drag it out and let it go off on a tangent like I have a habit of doing! 

Thank you for reading xx