me and lucy are leaving headquarters now
suddenly my phone is ringing
"y'ello" i say cus im feeling cool and super - heroey
"we have a crisis" says a voice
"well too bad cause i only have a few minutes left of being a human" i say
"please please please you need to save christmas"
"say what?"
"yeah you can save xmas"
"no santa can do that ok bye"
"wait wait thats the problem"
"what is?"
"santa..." the voice stops and cries "... is dead"
OMGOMGOMG nnnoooooooo
"im on my way" i say for the second time in the last ten minutes and im hanging up cause im cool
"lets go" i say to lucy and we just hop onto a magical cloud that koopa is on
"hey koopa shouldn't you be killing mario" i ask
"no we're bestos"
"what but you always kill me when i play"
"thats cus you suck at playing"
oh he really hit the nerve there
"oh HHHHEEEEELLLLL no" i scream and then i stab him and he falls off the cloud
"thats the third person i killed in the past fifteen minutes" i say proudly
"yeah but they all reincarnated so you fail at being a murderer" lucy says
"oh my god we have no driver now" i scream cause koopa is dead
"oh its on automatic"
"what then why was koopa here"
"i actually dont know but anyways where are we going"
"north pole"
"why"
"lucy im so sorry but... santa passed away" i say dramtically cause it feels like a soap opera
"OH MY GOD" she cries and she falls off the cloud and goes way way down till she splats below
"NNNOOOOOOOOOO" im screaming
now shes just popping up and down like a weasel again on the cloud
"wait i thought you were dead"
"yeah well we are already in the north pole so its all MMMAAAGGGGIIICCCAAALLL"
so im just slapping her cheek with a strawberry and hopping off the cloud to go see santa as a dead person
"yo were here" i say as i walk in like a gansta
"woah are you rebels" asks an elf
lucy nods but then she trips over herself and goes unconcious
"well I'M a rebel" i say proudly
"ok lets bring you to head elf narwhal" says the elf and we just drag lucy up the stairs hoping her head doesnt chop off
we get into a big room and frodo is there too but this time he's not a jungle - man
"HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOUR IN THE WRONG BOOK" i say but he just shakes his head sadly
"papa died" he murmurs before hicupping like mad
"are you german" i say but then he just puts a ring on his finger and disappears
oh well
then i see this ugly dwarf llama walking up to me so i just stick my hand through its mouth and stab it from the inside
im stabbing it's stomach and im backing away now and its flopping around like a cartoon with its head bobbing everywhere
lucy comes back concious and the dwarf llama falls on her stomach and suddenly a live fish jumps out of lucys mouth
"what the hell" says an elf
then lucy gets up and opens a compartment in her stomach and stuffs the wriggling fish inside
"you just killed our head elf" cries the elf
"that thing was an elf" im saying and im really shocked
"yes now what will we do" says the elf and then he has a heart - attack and dies
"well im going to save christmas" i say but then i feel myself slowly turning into a goose
OMGOMGOMG CLIFFHANGER?!?!?! lisa is going to transform into a goose?!?!!?!! omgomgomg yeah seeya soon bye
YOU ARE READING
THE CHRISTMAS SURPRISE (TCS book 1)
HumorI never knew what my christmas surprise would be... but I didn't expect it to be bad!
