𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜. | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✓

• 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐰𝐨 •

𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐰𝐨

     Two weeks have passed and I've constantly been streaming with Tommy every now and then. A lot of people decided to follow me and support my music but a few stayed being bothered by me being with him. In all honesty, I don't really care about it too much.

     Well, sometimes I do.

     There would be times when I feel nervous all of a sudden and think that everyone hates me and they're constantly trying to tear me down but he'd always come to my aid and comfort me whenever I needed him the most.

     I like him. I really do.

     "That's all for today, chat!" He beamed at the microphone. "Goodnight!" And with that, he turned off his stream and sighed while running his hand through his hair.

     I was sitting on his bed, hiding from the camera the whole time. "You okay?" I asked him. I didn't really want to talk too much to him today because I don't want to bother him that much.

     "Just.. tired," He covered his face with both of his hands as he rests his elbows on his desktop. "Can you leave?"

      What he said sounded harmless but those words bounced in my head for a few seconds before answering him, "W-what?"

     I was taken aback— He isn't usually this blunt to me. Those three simple words were like daggers in my chest, swooning with the echoes of my heart beating.

     He didn't say a single word after that. I was assuming that he really was tired of all the constant streams and acting like everything is perfect in front of the camera. The only thing I didn't get was the reason why he said those.

     Or maybe I'm just overthinking.

     "Okay..." I stuttered and left his room with a soft closing of the door. I heard him sigh through the paneled wood.

     I hope he's alright.

     Walking towards my room I looked back at his door, wanting him to go outside to talk to me but he didn't.

     "No, tubbo." Tommy's voice resonated through the four corners of his room. I stopped my tracks and because of me being curious, I went ahead and placed my ear on his door to eavesdrop on their conversation.

     "No, it's not like that," He argued. "Can you raid my next stream?"

     Silence butted in for a few seconds before he started talking again. This time, it was inaudible and I couldn't exactly hear what he said.

     Discarding the thought of eavesdropping into their conversation, I continued walking towards my room.

     The familiar scent of Tommy's cologne still lingered, which I absolutely loved. I missed having him here in my room with me, especially at times when he just wanted to. A few days ago he started to 'move' in his room.

     It was 8:33 in the evening. If only Tommy was here we'd both be watching childhood cartoons together while sitting close together here on my bed but the only company I have right now is a body pillow.

     "Can you leave?" His voice repeated in my head. It was subtle yet so.. Hurtful..?

     All the lights were turned off inside my room. Since the sky was blanketed with thick, grey clouds, that meant I was sitting in total darkness.

     I sighed. How could three words ruin my day?

     The slow blinking of light coming from the notifications of my phone dimly coruscated my four bedroom walls, carrying a hint of blue.

     It was once again people shipping me and Tommy with fan arts on Instagram, fanfictions on Wattpad and Tumblr, and people expressing what they think of us on Twitter.

     Being in the spotlight can be overwhelming sometimes. There would always be a lot of people who constantly bring you down but I don't want to invest my time with them.

     "Can you leave...?" The words sprung in my head again. I overthink things and that might be the death of me.

     Maybe he really is tired.

     But what if he's not, though?

     "Shut up," I said to myself. At this rate, my thoughts were getting louder every damn second.

     The consistent sinking of my chest continued as I tried to be submerged in a deep state of slumber but I can't.

     Did I do something wrong?

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

So one commented a bunch of innuendo emojis and I said "It's making me uncomfortable--" THEN someone literally replied to me on a comment thread,

"@Jowelleee It's 16+. The author could write whatever the hell she wants. If you're uncomfortable, just scroll away."

IN MY OWN BOOK BYE— 🚪🏃‍♀️💨

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