𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜. | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✓

• 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 •

𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

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      I woke up from the sound of Tommy screaming from his room. God, does he ever shut the hell up?

      My guitar laid flat on my chest. A notebook and a pen were also by my side and it had scribbles on them.

      Oh yeah, I wrote a song about what I feel right now, especially all the feelings I've contained ever since I've met him.

      There's a warmth in the coldness of the room
All the cars going by are like people on the move
Hold your breath, count to ten
It's okay to feel so small
Let it out, take it in
And do it all over again

      The words molded in my mouth perfectly. The thought of being alone makes me feel at ease.

     At the same time, it makes me feel lonely. My best friend ditched me and I don't know why.

      "Yeah?" I asked after I heard someone knock. I quickly hid my notebook under my pillow and then the door opened.

     "Lunch," Tommy said, holding a Sunday roast in his hand and placed it on my bedside table.

      As he was headed for the door, I stood up and said, "Hey, wait."

      He sighed, turning to look at me. "What do you want?"

      "I just.." I trailed off. "I need someone to talk to."

      Anyone. I just needed someone around to tell everything to. Hopefully, all that weighs on my heart will leave.

      "Don't you have a best friend you always call every day?" He placed both of his hands in his pockets.

      "Thomas just shut up and listen to me for once!" I snapped, shouting. Tears started to form in my eyes after I kneeled down to the ground. I was weak and I knew it. I'm stressed from my career and I just need someone.

      Anyone.

      His face softened. He kneeled down to my level and hesitantly placed a hand at my back. "Are... Are you alright there?" He asked.

      I sniffled and wiped my tears away with the collar of my shirt. "I have so many things in my head." I sat up but I didn't lay my eyes on him.

      He scratched the back of his head, unsure of what to do. "Do you want to talk about it then?"

     "Why are you so.." I eyed him up and down. "These past few weeks you've been so.."

      "I'm already here ready to listen to your rant and now you're going to criticize me?" He asked.

      "...So toxic." I finished my sentences without listening to him.

      "I'm not," He ran his hand through his hair as he sat down on the floor with me. "It's just... me."

      "Sure you are," I rolled my eyes. "I bet you treat your friends like shit, too."

      "Alright, do you want me to listen to your rant or not?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "'Cause I could leave at any time. I could even leave right now." And with that, he stood up.

     That's it. I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down again, but this time my cries were silent. Covering my face with my hands, I couldn't see or feel anything. It's all too new for me.

      The pressure of writing music every single day, not being with your family when you need them the most, acting like everything is alright in front of a camera, trying my hardest to get to know Tommy.

      I assumed that he left the room when I heard the door close. He never cared for me, anyway. He never did.

      What's the point of inviting him to my tour, anyway?

      I heard footsteps walking towards me.

      "Come here," He kneeled so we're at the same level. He gently pulled my hands away from my face and tucked my hair behind my ear and wrapped his arms around me.

      He hugged me.

      When I needed someone the most. When I needed him the most.

      My muffled cries soon came to a stop as he started to rub my back, and hearing his slow "Shh," to calm me down helped a lot.

      "Tell me," His voice softened. "What's been bothering you?"

      "You." I looked down. "I don't understand you."

      "What do you mean?"

      "Don't play games with me, Tommy. I know that you know what you're doing!"

      "I know I treat you like shit but I only do it because I get nervous." He explained. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me liking you all so soon."

      I was about to say something else but he cut me off. "Am I the only reason why you're crying?"

      "Yeah, another one is my friend who suddenly didn't speak to me."

      He slowly scooted closer to me, but only for an inch. "You're overreacting. Maybe they're busy?"

      "No, I've tried texting them too but I only get a single word for a reply." I pulled my knees closer to my chest.

      We both sat in silence. Eyeing him up and down, I was skeptical about him. Why is he suddenly so... soft?

      Trust issues. He doesn't fucking like me at all.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Sorry I haven't posted in a long while, I was trying to balance out editing, studying, doing performance tasks in like 103847 subjects at school  🤩

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