𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜. | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✓

• 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 •

𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 | 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

  “ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. ”
ᵀʰᵉ ¹⁹⁷⁵ ⁻ ˢᵉᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵈᵒʷⁿ

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

     "What the fuck, [y/n]?" He cursed. His furrowed eyebrows made me further sink on the bed. "Why?"

     "What? It's not like I did something wrong!" I argued back. "I was trying to prove my point."

     "And your point was...?" He crossed his arms and leaning back on his office chair.

     "Well—"

     "To make those haters think otherwise?" He asked me. "[y/n], why would you stoop down to their level like that?"

     "Tommy I—"

     "No, you have a lot of viewers and you're telling me that you need them all to support you?" He asked. "That's impossible. I thought you knew how hard it is to be liked by every single viewer that you have when you're streaming."

     "Listen!" I snapped. "It was just a kiss, okay? I kissed you and I proved my point. That's it." I shot back. He stood up and paced back and fourth in his room, thinking.

     "The thing is, why? Those are people who try to bring you down. Why didn't you just ignore them?" He asked me.

     "I also wanted everyone that we like each other. We have this... Mutual feelings for each other."

     "I know that, [y/n], I feel the same way but I just think that what you did was.." He stopped. Then, he decided to not continue his sentences.

     "Look, I'm sorry!" I apologized.

     "Just remember that we aren't together. We aren't a couple and that's that. I just felt like you did it for clout." He murmured.

     "Are you actually thinking that I'm using you for more views?" I asked. "Tommy, I would never do that. Never in a million fucking years— Someone could offer me ten grand to do that but even I wouldn't do such a thing."

     "But in front of four hundred and twenty thousand people?" He asked. "four hundred and twenty." He emphasized.

     His voice was stern and was louder than his normal volume when he's speaking to me. The tone of his voice was like that of a father disciplining his child who poured water on his computer.

     "Today I asked Tubbo to raid my stream. It was going well without you in it," He said.

     I felt like my heart just got stabbed by a fucking sword. I didn't know how much he could hurt me just by his words.

     If he really likes me, then why would he say that?

     "What do you mean?"

     "... My views went down when you walked into my room and kissed me." He looked away.

     Uncomfortable silence intervened between us and I didn't like the fact that we aren't getting along.

     "You should probably end your stream now, [y/n]..." He looked down, avoiding my teary eyes.

     "I'm sorry.." I covered my mouth with my hand in an attempt to prevent myself from crying.

     "Hey," I heard his voice while I was reaching his doorknob. I slowly looked back at him, tears ready to fall.

     "What we did early this morning..." His voice trailed off. The thought about the two of us earlier, hugging in the hallway made my heart sink even further.

     "Um, just pretend that didn't happen, alright?" He eyed me up and down. At this point I couldn't help myself and straight up just silently cried in front of him.

     "[y/n]," He sighed. "Don't." I could tell that he was having a hard time seeing me cry once again.

     Damn it, why am I the one who thinks that crying is the best way to react to something bad?

     "I'm stupid," I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

     "You're not," He ran his hand through his hair. "But what you did, though—" He looked back at me and that made me avert my eyes from his.

     "You know I can't be found with you," He whispered. I kept looking down at the ground. All I wanted was to get out of his room this instant. "I just.. Don't want anyone to know that we like each other."

     "What? Why not?" I gazed my eyes at his face for a split second.

     "I think it's more sincere that way," He replied. "You should go." And with that, he turns his back on me to continue playing in his computer.

     There goes another day disappointing someone again. This must be my new hobby, huh?

     The contrasting temperature of Tommy's warm room and the hallway's cooler breeze made me shiver. I left his room only to go back to mine.

     "Hey, chat." I forced a smile in front of the camera while closing the door behind me. My computer was still streaming and for the past twenty minutes, my viewers waited for me to come back.

     "I have to go. Thanks for waiting for me and I'm really sorry I had to end the stream this way," I grinned while my chest was sinking. Then, I stopped it.

     After the echo of my mouse click resonated through my bedroom walls, I caught myself staring at my reflection through the black part of the screen of my monitor.

     I was too caught up in my feelings for Tommy, and seeing those comments I didn't know what I was thinking. I regret saying that I didn't regret doing that.

     "Just pretend last night didn't happen, alright?" My mind replayed his voice.

     I never thought someone like Tommy could be so blunt about what he feels. I doubt he even knew what I felt when he said those words despite that he knows I like him.

     I just... don't understand.

     He implied that he doesn't want people to think we like each other.

     What if he doesn't actually like me?

     Maybe I'm wrong. Who knows, maybe he just doesn't want to have a public relationship with me or anyone else.

     I have a strong feeling that I should confront him and apologize, but at the same time I couldn't.

     What should I do?

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Yeah, what would you do? 🤔

VOTE! ⭐
COMMENT! 💬
FOLLOW! 👥
     For a free coupon to skip online class tomorrow

1027 words