Cliché

chapter 14. wedding vows

"Today, we'll be simulating all of your fake marriages. You'll come up to the front of the classroom and present your prepared vows— that's it. Quick and easy, right?" The home economics teacher explains, clapping his hands together. "Alright, who wants to go first?"

I frown. There are way too many storylines going on at once, don't you think, readers?

"When was this assigned?" I whisper to my Ex-Best-Friend Next Door, who's coolly sitting in his seat and staring off into the distance.

He looks at me, staring blankly for a good while before deciding to reply. "After you were kicked out of class," he drawls, his tone monotonous yet mocking at the same time. "I would've told you at dinner yesterday, but you ran off before I could."

"Is that your excuse? Really?" I say in disbelief. "You couldn't have told me the ten minutes I was at your house? Especially since this class is literally the only thing we all have in common?"

"Irissa and Jake!" The teacher calls out scoldingly, the irritation clear in his voice. "Why don't you two present first since you're so eager to talk?"

We glare at each other as the teacher looks at us expectantly, obviously waiting for us to apologize for disrupting his class. Instead of doing so, I stand up and walk to the front of the room, my Ex-Best-Friend reluctantly following behind me.

The teacher clears his throat, shuffling a few papers on his desk before gesturing for us to begin. "Irissa, why don't you go first? Remember, I'll be grading you both on the quality and emotion of your speech."

"This is graded?" I complain, frowning at the teacher as he stares back at me anticipatorily.

Slowly, I turn back towards my Ex-Best-Friend, my eyes wandering to the place between my Ex-Best-Friend's eyebrows in order to fake sincere eye contact. I take a deep breath and ready myself to get into character, bracing myself to make up a falsely heartfelt speech on the spot.

"John."

"Iris, my name is Jake."

"Jake," I repeat, smiling awkwardly and praying the teacher doesn't mark off any points. "I first met you in kindergarten, all the way in Washington. You were the new kid, and I was the social butterfly who made it my mission to talk to everyone. I didn't realize the words I introduced myself with were the first of many conversations and playdates between us— same with the way I didn't realize my last words to you were the end of our friendship. I moved away. State from state, school from school, I never really stayed in the same place. And I never stayed with the same people. Honestly, by the time I came here, I had forgotten about you— don't take it personally— but then, just a few days ago, you came back into my life. As my neighbor, of all things."

I smile sweetly at him, before immediately dropping it as I turn to face the class.

"Because the author simply cannot be original for once in her life. Doesn't this storyline sound extremely stupid? Best friends in kindergarten, then neighbors now? In a different state? Working together on the baby project? Where we're supposed to fall in love with each other?"

The entire class's heads begin twitching feverishly, to the point where I'm afraid their necks are going to snap. Nonetheless, I continue on, pushing for someone to regain their awareness.

"Seriously though, my entire speech was a bunch of bullsh-t. Except for the part where I said I forgot about him, of course. I mean, I don't even know if we ever even physically met together in the first place, or if my memories were just written in by the author. Hell, I didn't even know I had so many memories of this generic boy named— whatever his name is. But obviously, the author just has to throw anything and everything in to further the plot. Because this is fiction!"