the time I have left [bakudeku]

Ⓒⓗⓐⓟⓣⓔⓡ ①②: from you to me

𝙱𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚐𝚘'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟

I stared at the letter. I haven't opened it yet. I don't want to. It's going to make things feel to real. I know that he's dead I know it but It hurt's just to think about him not going to be here. But still I must be strong. I need to know what deku want's to say to me. I took a deep breath and opened the letter. I began to read it. It read...

'dear kacchan, 

I know that you probably won't care that much about any of the picture's I added to the letter but I really treasured them. Whenever I was having a bad day I would stare at them to remember all the fun time's we had together. I know that you didn't like me very much and I'm sorry for following you around. I knew that you didn't like me but I persisted and stayed by your side because I thought you were cool. In fact you were the coolest person I knew. You were always so strong and everyone would follow you around. I looked up to you, but to you I was just some worthless kid. I'm sorry, but throughout the time I've got to know you I realized something. You don't hate me. Sure, you did say mean things to me but those things are what pushed me to do better. The way I saw it you were just pushing me past my limit, trying to get me to be better. To you that might of been your way of trying to get rid of me but to me that was your way of building me up. I don't want you to feel guilty in any way. Everything you said to me built me up, so don't beat yourself up over not getting the chance to apologize. I forgive you for whatever you said or did. I never once thought or felt hate towards you, In fact its the opposite. I love you kacchan. I want you to move on from me and just live life and become the best hero out there, if not for me then for yourself. You know when we fought at ground beta? when you told me all your feeling's? yeah well I just want to say one thing about that, Why? why did you think it was your fault? you mentioned being too weak and that was the cause of your capture. But in all honestly it wasn't It's not your fault that all might retired. That's my fault. If I hadn't been so selfish with my dream he would still be there with you saving the world as the symbol of peace. So don't beat yourself up over something that you didn't do. You are strong and whoever planted the thought of you being weak in your head is wrong, they don't know you for you. I understand you a lot more then you realize. Only because were alike you and I. That might sound stupid to you and I'm sorry that I'm comparing you to me, someone you find so weak, but let me explain myself. Your emotions; you bottle them up because you think that feeling and showing that emotion is stupid, Yeah I did the same thing and that may be very shocking to you but like you said during my last few day's you said that my smile was so bright, that it was 'freakishly bright' correct me if i'm wrong, But that smile you enjoyed so much was my way of showing my anger sadness and pain. I smile and you act tough, similar but very different. I smiled through my darkest time's hoping it would make me forget what was going on, I didn't talk to anyone because like you said I was the kindest person and everyone liked me but I was scared that If I showed my true nature everyone would hate me. The last few day I was with you I was relieved of all of that. every moment that you were by my side or talked to me helped me realize that there are people that care for me as much as I care for them. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to realize that holding back those feeling isn't good I wish that I would have talked to someone about them. Cry, scream, yell, get mad, happy, find love, do it all before you don't have the chance to I wish I would have stood up for myself more and I wish I would have told those that I care about how much I cared for them. Kacchan like I said during my final day's I love you, and you said you loved me back, I don't know if you were just humoring me but Just know that I really did love you everything you did to try and become the best just drew me to you even more, your strong independent and you know what to do to meet your goals. The only thing I wish I saw you do more is open up to people, get to know them lean on them because you can't live life by yourself you need others to rely on. A life lived alone and by yourself is very painful, trust me I know. you need people to reassure you. to me you were my reassurance, and that may be silly but you were. I tried to be like you, strong and determined. I guess I wasn't that strong, because If I were I would have avoided death. Anyway's sorry my letter's everywhere I just wanted to cover a lot of ground. I love you kacchan take care and just know that just because I'm gone doesn't mean that you can just give up on your goal. I would be very disappointed If you gave up, because the kacchan I know never gives up. I love you a bunch. 

-deku (Izuku midoriya) ' 

 I opened the letter to find another picture ... 

I turned the picture around and saw that in deku's hand writing he wrote 

'I love you kacchan ♥ (October 14) two days before my birthday this was the best gift' 

that right his birthday is the sixteenth of October....I grabbed my phone and looked at the date... It's his birthday...He died on his birthday. Why didn't I know it was his birthday?

"happy birthday deku... I love you" 

I whispered this and I must be imagining things but I felt like I was being hugged. oh no, I'm going crazy. I looked down at the picture again and I could have sworn I head deku call my name... I looked up and around the room but I didn't see him. That's it I'm going insane. And as soon as I head the voice trail off the warmth was gone. Could that have been him? I don't believe in ghost but what if he just had to say my name one more time? Ah I must be going crazy that's impossible. I looked back down at the letter and pictures and just cried while I remembered every moment with him. 

'deku I didn't know you felt that way at all, I have so may questions, you said you were like me, but I'm pathetic. you make me sound so great when really you were right I hide what I truly feel, my emotion's If I did show them I would be the one looking up to you. I'm not as great as you thought. But you were right that I won't give up on my dream.... I'll do it all for you. Because that what you do when you love someone. Right?'