I'm 16, my mother is mad and I am a murderer, problem? -ON HOLD-

I'm 16, my mother is mad and I'm a murderer- Part 12

Chapter 18.

My thoughts are running ruins in my mind as I wake up the next morning. I have only managed a couple of hours sleep, but I am grateful for any amount of sleep. 'Karma'- the words catch ablaze in my head. What exactly does that mean?

Suddenly, Clarissa bursts through the door.

"Wake up!" She exclaims, oblivious to my forlorn mood. I groan under the covers.

"I'm ill."

"Sorry, Auntie Pauline doesn't want you to have to catch up on so much work. You've got to go into school." She skips out of the room cheerfully. Her hollow footsteps echo down the corridor into her room a few seconds later.

With the small, mite amount of energy left in my body, I stomp out of my room into the shower to get ready. My head is buzzing. It feels as if I have a hungover. I clumsily get ready for school and leave the house with Clarissa and her little brother.

As usual, she drops him off and walks with me to the school gates. At first glance, I want to rip my hair out. All these faces around me cause my vision blur and I realise I've been spending too much time in the dark, under my covers. All the school children greet each other with mere worries; none can compare to mine. I drag my feet across the playground and walk into my class, embracing my seat with a big huff. 

Lucy soon walks in after beside Craig. They both look at me. I wonder what they are thinking. Luckily, the bell goes off and the teacher walks in. Lucy and Craig take a seat on the opposite side of the room to one other- sadly, Lucy is sitting next to me. I regret being rude to her but at this time, I can't afford to have any friends. Anybody could be enemy. Anybody could be waiting for 'karma'. 

The first two lessons go exhaustingly by. I have managed to avoid Craig, Lucy, Amanda and Katie until now. When the final bell goes, I shoot out of the room faster than a bullet. Sadly, Craig is waiting outside the room for me already. How does he get here so fast?

"Beth!" He calls as I attempt to avoid him. I turn behind me and see him coming towards me. I can't be dealing with him right now, so I hasten my pace. The sound of my breathing is in sync with the sound of my shoes tapping against the ground. He can see I am trying to get away from him so he also increases his pace. I turn back around and see him getting closer to me.

"Bethany, please, wait up!" He has a desperate look on his face. I still can't let myself talk to him. I don't know how to explain my behaviour to him. I don't know what to say about our near-kiss. Suddenly, I am running without realising. I can hear my heart booming in my chest as I sprint past the large crowds of confused faces. I keep running until I am out of the building. I take any turns I can, although this school is still a maze for me. I turn around for one final time and see Craig is no longer behind me. I am relieved. I take a moment to let my heartbeat regain its usual rate. 

I look around my surroundings and to my surprise, I see a boy who looks older than me sitting on the bench. His eyes are covered by his long, rough, dark hair, however I can tell he is staring at me: Confused at my presence. I observe him further and see him smiling.

"Woah dude, why were you running so far, man?" He breaks the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry. I'll go now."

"Nah babe. Stay. I never usually have company out here." My instinct reaction is to decline this offer but I don't want to anger anybody else.

I sit beside him on the bench while he weirdly hums to himself. He looks at me smiling. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Do you want some?" I am confused at him question until I see him offering me a long piece of white thing. It resembles a ciggarrette but I know it isn't this. It's weed. I shake my head wondering what I've got myself into with this guy. 

"Sure? Well okay, all the more for me." He takes a puff and it looks like the most calming thing in the world. His eyes roll into the back of his head in tranquility. He looks cheerful. He must have no worries; all his problems blown away with the wind. I am in awe of this. Maybe if I just have one puff.. Maybe, I'll forget about the problems that have been burdening my mind.. Just maybe. 

I grab the spare roll up next to him and he smiles at me. Probably happy that he's got somebody else to smoke with, or he's just plain happy due to the marijiuna.

I take a long, slow puff inhaling everything I can. I start coughing from the shock. I've never smoked or anything amongst those lines so to be smoking marijiuna, it is a shock to my body. 

"Cool, man." I see this guy's carefree attitude and I am determined to be like him, so I keep inhaling. I can't stop. The sensation I get is immense. 

Out of the blue, the bell goes off. I am disappointed, I was enjoying that. 

"Same time, same place tomorrow?" The unknown boy asks.

I hesitate for a moment, considering my response.

"Sure. Same time, same place." 

I get up off the bench and skip to my next lesson. Maths. This means I'll have to sit with Lucy. I hop into my classroom and sit down in my seat- Lucy is already sitting down in the adjacent seat. 

"Can you stop ignoring Craig, please? The boy is obsessed with you, the least you can do is let him down gently." She starts saying to my surprise. 

"I'm sorry, it's just been such a hard time for me." I feel as if I've been apologising all day. I stare at Lucy's shiny hair and naturally warm eyes. Why was I ever rude to her? She was my first friend in this school. "I'm sorry to you too, Lucy. For being rude." Weirdly, I don't find it hard to say this. In fact, I say it with a smile on my face. Lucy studies my face wondering whether I am being genuine. I smile to indicate I am.

"Oh, it's cool then. It must be hard for you to join this school in the middle of term." She gives me a hug. I can't let go. I keep my arms wrapped around her. I can feel her nudging me against me, trying to get off but I can't physically let go. 

"Haha, you can let go now, Beth." She attempts to me the situation humourous. Finally, I pull free. I wonder what has overcome me. Usually, I don't like hugs. I don't like people touching me. I don't like people getting too close to me. 

The day goes by slowly with Lucy, Amanda and Katie all inviting me to go shopping after school. I wonder what for until they remind me about Craig's party on Friday. I rush home, get money and then go off to the mall with them. I am surprised I am confident enough to enter the mall considering the threatening emails I have been getting, but all these thoughts leave my mind. I am solely concentrating on having a normal day, with normal friends, in a normal place. I buy a dress which I don't really like myself but my friends convince me to get it. 

Once I get home, Auntie Pauline is sitting in the living room wrapping a gift in a box. I stare at her wondering what she is doing until I realise it's my birthday next week,

"Oh, no, no, no, no! You wasn't supposed to see this!" She cries as she attempts to hide everything.

Mother enters the living room saying, "there's no point of hiding it. She's already seen it. Haven't you Bethany?" I don't want to disappoint Mother so I nod my head.

"Well, you might as well have it now! There's no point wrapping it." She throws a box over to me and I see it's a box containing a mobile phone.

"Oh my goodness, thanks Auntie Pauline!" I thank her and run up to my run unusually excited. 

I run up to my room and decide to read my messages online. I wonder whether there are any new messages. To be honest, however, I am hardly in the mood to care. I turn on my computer and sign on. It says: 52 new messages.

"What on EARTH?!" I wonder aloud. I don't want to ruin my good mood so I click the 'Delete' button. 

Inbox empty.

I smile.