I'm 16, my mother is mad and I am a murderer, problem? -ON HOLD-

I'm 16, my mother is mad and I'm a murderer- Part 10

Chapter 15

I spend the weekend sleeping. Auntie Pauline makes a few attempts to bring me downstairs to engage with the rest of the family, but I brush her off with excuses of either tiredness or illness. Eventually she gave up. 

I lie still on my bed and watch the shades of the sky alternate. I hadn't slept all night due to both my excessive sleeping during the day and the fact I am still thinking about those poor girls. I wonder how Mother has been for the past couple of days. How has Auntie Pauline dealt with her?

Suddenly, I hear a knock at the door. I look at the time: 7:00am. Who would be knocking on my door at this time? I hope it isn't Mother playing up again. 

"Come in," I barely say when the door folds open. I see Clarissa in her pyjamas standing at the door. I look blankly at her waiting for her to justify why she is awake so early.

"Come on, it's time to get up." She smiles again. Her frequent smiling makes me wonder whether they are actually sincere, but then I remember how well her mother has brought her up.

"What for?" I say throwing my head back down unto the pillow.

"School of course," her face looks perplexed at the fact I am confused. Then I remember she told me that her mother had enrolled me already. I groan loudly.

"Don't worry, it'll be fun. Breakfast in thirty minutes," she says and walks out of the room. A few moments later she comes back in with a uniform. "Mum didn't know your size. She had to guess. I hope it fits!" 

"Urm, right. Thanks." 

She smiles and walks out of the room. I get up out of my bed with every ounce of energy I have. I had completely forgotten about school. I can't be bothered to go. School is just a big waste of time. I grab my bathroom things out of my suitcase, leave my room and walk into the bathroom. My reflection in the mirror is almost stomach-churning. I step into the shower and let the hot water penetrate my skin. The pain it causes feels great. It feels as if this is what I deserve: To feel the pain I have inflicted on Mother for every year of my life.

I finally step out of the shower and brush my teeth and hair. I put on a robe and leave to go back into my newly-found sanctuary. I look down at the uniform disappointed that it doesn't look very nice. Then I feel guilty for thinking about such trivial things. I put the uniform on and head downstairs.

The kitchen smells delicious. Auntie Pauline is standing by the stove cooking sausages. It's times like this I wish I had had a normal mother growing up so I could enjoy normal times like this. Mother never cooked breakfast for me, I had to do so myself.

"Good morning, Bethany." Auntie Pauline put down a plate of food in front of me. With all that's gone on, I have been completely oblivious to how famished I am. I scuff down everything on my plate in a split second. Auntie Pauline doesn't judge, she just smiles and offers me more. I refuse in fear of being a nuisance to her. 

"Where's Mother?" I ask authentically concerned. 

"She's staying in my room. That way I can keep a better eye on her. I've really missed her, you know? I'm glad you've both moved here to Liverpool. What was the reason for that, again? I don't think you've told me. Either that or I'm getting forgetful in my old age, haha!" She laughs. No, she was right. I never did tell her the real reason. But, I'll tell her an invented one.

"Well, Dad left us so I thought it'd be better if we start fresh. Mother was becoming really unsettled and anxious at our old home so I think this is for the best."

"Ah, yes. Speaking of your Mother's anxiety, haha, did you happen to bring her medication?" Auntie Pauline has the strange habit of laughing at inappropriate times. I nod and give her the pills which I'd kept in my pocket for safe-keeping. She thanks me. Clarissa and her little brother, whose name I still don't know, come down the stairs.