Pieces of You

Chapter Five: You, Again

*One Year since the hospital*

"Happy one year."

I was never much of a cynic... but then again I was never who I am now. I miss her sometimes, the old me that was happy.

Instead I'm toasting a vodka shot to myself to celebrate surviving a year. I'm bitter, and angry, an empty shell of the girl I once knew.

I'm a year older, not much wiser, and a whole lot more traumatized and depressed. I stopped leaving the house much, I didn't like to see people anymore. It always made me feel even emptier to be surrounded by people. I'm being dragged out practically against my will tonight, and I'm not sure if it's because they knew what today was or if it's coincidence.

But I'm sitting at the kitchen island, pouring another shot, because now I'm writing it off as pre gaming.

Kay moved in with Ashton a few months ago. I don't blame her when all I do is lock myself away. Cal moved into her room, I think he just worried too much about me being alone. We'd grown close, he was my best friend besides Kay, and he looked after me. I could do without hearing the girls he brings back home, but he watches films with me under blankets on Saturday's and I wouldn't trade that. He'd left earlier today claiming he had something to do, and I'll admit that I don't do great alone anymore.

I'm waiting for them to pick me up, wearing a tight red dress that Kay insisted I wear. I originally planned to wear heels, but opted for platform boots when I realized I could hardly walk in heels.

I did a third shot for courage and grimaced.

Then finally my phone vibrated on the counter, and I knew they were here. I stood up and steadied myself, not wanting to allude to my tipsiness so early. Something they don't always tell you when you end up with trauma, is how hard it gets to eat. I have so much anxiety these days even still, and half of the time I can't keep food down because of it. I think I lost twenty pounds this year. And when you're running on empty all of the time, three shots hits pretty quick. I'd need it to survive the night though.

I managed to walk down the stairs completely fine, and I made sure I had everything I needed before I locked the door.

"Hey pretty lady!" Kay squealed when I came into view, she then whistled at me.

I laughed at her, and it was almost genuine. As long as they believe it that's all that matters, and I've gotten pretty damn good at it.

"You don't look so bad yourself." I said with a wink once I reached her.

She climbed back in the passenger's seat, and I slid into the back.

"Hey, Cam." Ash smiled at me in the rear view, and I returned it quickly.

He and Cal were the hardest to convince, they were too good at reading me.

I shook it off as Kay started blasting some song I didn't know on the radio.

It was going to be a long night.

—— —— —— ——

"Who's party is this?" I asked Ash as we approached the club. It was so loud we could hear it down the street where we found parking. It looked packed, and I was feeling anxious already.