Deal

Explaination

I kept on crying into my pillow, and I heard Chloe sat down outside the door, begging me to open it. Suddenly I heard the doorbell. I cried even harder, knowing that it was Edward.
After a while I heard two pair of feet walking up the stairs. Then there was a knock on my door.
“(Yn)?” it was Edward’s gentle and worried voice, “What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything; I will be there for you no matter what.”
“Go away!” I croaked.
“Please (Yn), let me come in,” Edward said.
I just kept on crying, and finally someone unlocked my door using the key. I peeked from under my pillow and saw Dad and Mum coming in, with Edward and Chloe following behind, faces full of worry.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mum knelt down beside my bed and I looked away, and screamed, “Leave me alone!”
“Come on, you’re getting us worried,” Dad said, “Are you hurt?”
“Please,” I sobbed, “Just leave me alone!”
“(Yn),” Edward stroked my hair, and I flinched under his touch; it was not because it reminded me of Dylan – Edward was much, much more gentle – I just did not want to contaminate him, “Take your time, but don’t do something stupid, okay?”
His words made me cry even more. He did not push me to explain everything, but instead he cared about my feelings and tried to make me more comfortable. He was too nice and flawless; he deserved better.
“I think Edward’s right,” Chloe whispered, “I’ll look after her, don’t worry.”
A few moments later I heard the door close and Chloe said, “They’re gone now; don’t worry, take your time,”
I cried for ages, when I finally could not cry anymore. My eyes were very sore and my throat hurt. My stomach felt so bad. Chloe was sitting beside me all the while. I was really glad that I had her as my best friend.
“You can tell me when you’re ready,” Chloe patted my back, “You know, telling someone about it might help.”
I took a few deep breaths to calm down. I stayed silent, and sat up slowly, leaning against the head board.
Chloe handed me a tissue, and I could see she was really worried. I must look like a mess right now.
I wiped my face, and tried to minimize my trembles.
I trusted Chloe; I knew I could tell her anything and I really wanted to tell her what had happened. But then I remembered Dylan’s words – if I told someone, including Chloe, Edward would be dead.
“I want to tell you,” I began, my voice croaky, “But – but I can’t. I trust you but I just can’t.”
“What is it about?” she asked, “About Edward?”
I shook my head, “But it’s somehow related to him,”
“About school?” Chloe kept asking, “Friends? Family?”
I shook my head furiously.
“Dylan?” she asked. I froze.
“It’s about Dylan isn’t it?”
I just did not respond.
“Did he do something?” Chloe asked, suddenly very worried, “Did he hurt you?”
Her words reminded me of the incident. Tears started to fall again.
“Oh my God (Yn)!” Chloe gasped, “He didn’t hurt you, did he? I’ll kill him!”
I threw my arms around Chloe and sobbed into her shoulder, “What did he do to you?” she asked, clearly shocked. She held me at arm’s length and observed me.
“You’re not injured,” she stated, “But you really look like a mes – oh – WHAT? HE DID THAT TO YOU?”
I guessed she had figured out what happened, “I’ll call the police before I do something stupid and kill him!”
I quickly grabbed her arm and said, “NO! You can’t! I’m not supposed to tell anyone or Edward will be hurt!”
“That bastard!” she spat, “Don’t worry (Yn), the police will get him before he can get Edward!”
“No Chloe!” I shook my head crazily, “I don’t want to risk it! As long as Edward is okay it’s alright! Who knows what that jerk will do if I tell someone!”
“(Yn),” Chloe shook her head disapprovingly, “You must be insane! You really love Edward, don’t you?”
“I love him, I can’t bear the thought of him being hurt, please,” I begged.
“But the police can get him! I’m sure Edward will be okay!”
“Please...” I said again, “We’ll figure out some other ways, okay?”
Chloe looked very against the idea, but accepted it, “But I’ll have to warn Edward and make sure he’s aware of the situation,”
“No! It’ll just make him look suspicious to Dylan!” I immediately said, “And please, don’t tell him, he’ll be heartbroken!”
“I – I guess you have a point,” she said after a moment, “But really (Yn), you are crazy – everything that you do revolves around that boy, you don’t even care about yourself!”
“I love him,” I simply said.

The next morning I woke up and refused to go to school.
“Honey, you can’t be like that and not let us know what has happened,” Mum said.
“Just go away,” I hid in my blanket.
“I think she really needs some rest,” Chloe told Mum.
Mum sighed, “I guess a day off won’t do much harm,” and she left the room.
I stayed in my bed, and just let my mind idle. Suddenly I felt someone stroking my back through the blanket. I jumped and saw that it was Edward. I must be too distracted to notice when he came in.
I wrapped my blanket around me tightly and sat up, moving away from him, “Why are you here?”
“I just want to check if you’re okay,” Edward gave me a small smile. How could he be so sweet to me? I did not deserve him. I looked at Chloe and she was leaving the room quietly. I wanted to make her stay, as I did not want to face Edward alone. I was scared that I did not have the strength to reject him and make him stay away from me. But she was already out of the room, closing the door behind her.
“Why do you bother?” I tried not to cry and hold back my urge to bury myself in his chest.
“Because I love you?”
“I don’t deserve you. You deserve better,”
“What has happened (Yn)? What makes you say that?”
“Nothing,”
“There IS something,”
“Just find someone else okay!” I could feel I could not resist him anymore. His eyes full of worry clearly showed that he did love me, and that made the wall I was trying to build between us start to break apart.
“I can’t, you know I love you! What could have happened when I was gone? It’s just a few hours!”
I looked away and bit my lip, holding my tears back.
“What were you doing when I called you? You’re at home right?”
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something else.
“Wait…” he suddenly got slightly shaky, and I opened my eyes to look at him, “Before I went with them I told you to – where did you – did – oh no – did HE hurt you?”
Now that he brought it up, my tears started to form and escaped my eyes. He widened his eyes and stared at me, frozen. A mixture of anger and shock on his face.
“What. Did. He. Do. THAT BASTARD!” he was shaking with anger.
More tears flowed down my cheeks, and Edward came forward to hug me. I quickly jerked away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and backed away, his face full of hurt as he was truly saddened by the fact and a hint of anger still in his eyes, “I didn’t realize this will remind you of – of—”
“Just go away Edward,” my voice broke at his name, “I’m so dirty, you shouldn’t be touching me. I’m no longer a virgin!”
“I don’t care!” Edward said, “I told you I’ll love you no matter what!”
I took a deep breath and said in a rush, “Just go away Edward; I don’t want you now,”
Edward froze and I almost died seeing his heartbroken face, “You – you don’t want me?”
“No,”
“Why? You must be still in shocked to say that; you didn’t mean it, did you?”
“Just GO!”
He bit his lips and looked as if he was trying not to cry. It also hurt me to know that of all the times I said I loved him, he easily believed my words. He slowly retreated from my room, and Chloe came in a few moments later.
“Why did you say that to him?” Chloe asked, as I heard footsteps going down the stairs, “You didn’t mean it?”
“I didn’t,” I confessed, “But I really think he’s better off without me. I’ll bring him into troubles.”
“(Yn), you’re so stupid,” Chloe shook her head.
“Hang on – oh no!” I suddenly remembered something, “Will he go and find Dylan? He’ll get hurt!”
“Calm down (Yn),” Chloe said, “I told him outside your room that he shouldn’t take action now; I’ve warned him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,”
Throughout the afternoon, Chloe stayed by my side but kept texting someone. I wondered who she was texting with.
“(Yn), why don’t you just let Edward help you?” Chloe suddenly asked, “He’s known about it now, and it’ll be easier to handle this. And you heard him, he doesn’t mind what has happened to you, why did you have to hurt him like that?”
I just stayed silent. It hurt too much to think about Edward, and his heartbroken face.