Assassin

Fall

The bright sunshine woke me up. I opened my eyes slowly, fighting against the sunlight. I stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, and suddenly I felt pain shot up from my waist. I winced and realized what had happened at once.
I looked around, and saw John was sitting on a chair, his upper body lying beside me on the bed. He was sleeping soundly, his head resting on his arms.
He looked like an angel. He might be a dangerous assassin to the bad guys, but he was my life saver, my angel.
I shook my head, trying to clear my feelings towards him. But I ended up looking at his peaceful figure.
I reached out a wobbling hand slowly; I could not control myself, I wanted to feel his soft hair with my fingers so badly.
I touched his hair, and put my fingers through his hair gently, feeling the texture. I stroked his hair softly. It felt so nice and silky.
Then suddenly John stirred under my touch. I quickly removed my hand.
John looked up a little and blinked a few times. Finally he looked at me.
“Oh (Yn)!” he said, with a hoarse but happy voice, “You’re awake! How are you feeling?”
Looked like he did not suspect anything; relief flooded through my body – I did not want to give him any ideas, “Better, thank you,”
“Mind if I check your wound?” he asked.
I shook my head and smiled at him. He lifted the cover off me carefully to look at the wound. I did not dare to look at it – I was actually a bit scared of blood.
“It looked okay,” John told me, and put the cover in place again, “I think it’ll heal fast.”
I nodded, and yawned. I felt a bit tired still.
“How long have I been sleeping?” I asked.
“About two whole days,” he replied, and touched my forehead, “Everything seems alright now, no fever – are you hungry?”
I realized I had not eaten for ages, and now that he brought it up, my stomach did feel a bit empty.
“A little bit,” I said.
“I’ll get you some food,” he said, “I’ll come back in a minute.”
He disappeared from the room, and came back with a few slices of bread and water, and a blanket over his arm. He helped me sit up carefully so as to not hurt my wound, and wrapped the extra blanket around my shoulders. I took a sip of water and nibbled on the bread.
“I guess it’s time for me to tell you everything,” he said, “Do you have any idea about the whole situation? I mean, you can tell me your guesses.”
“I think I know parts of the whole thing,” I told him honestly, “You are the assassin who saved me and my friends from the gang with horses, right?”
He looked surprised, but recomposed himself, “Yes, how do you know?”
“I was in the forest the other day and… I saw you fight with a gang of people. Your hood fell off and I saw your face,”
“You – you were there?” he stuttered.
I nodded.
“Now are you – are you scared of me?” he looked nervous.
“No?” I said, raising an eyebrow, “Why should I? You saved me! You can’t be a bad guy.”
“I’m dangerous,” he stated.
“Do you remember when I kept avoiding you at the market?” I asked him.
He nodded, “Yes,”
“I thought you’re dangerous, and tried to avoid you. But when I thought about it again, you are actually not. You are only dangerous to the bad people,”
“But still I can leave you in a dangerous situation, like this,” he pointed at my waist, “I’m so sorry (Yn).”
“I know that,” I told him, “And it’s not your fault.”
“So now you actually know about everything,” he looked down, “And you should go and we should never meet again after you have healed.”
His words hit me hard. A bang of sadness hit my heart and the thought of never seeing him again hurt me a lot. I knew it was the best way for me and maybe him too, but what was good to you was not always going to be the choice you desired.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. John looked up at me, and I snapped my mouth shut. We stared into each other’s eyes, and it was like I could see through him. I saw that his eyes were filled with sorrow.
A tear rolled down my cheek and John wiped it away, “Why are you crying?”
I shook my head, “Nothing,”
“What are you going to tell your family when you go home?” he asked, changing the topic and forced a small smile.
I thought for a bit, “I think I’m going to tell them I hurt myself in the forest and got lost and an old lady saved me,”
“Sounds good,” he said, “That’s the best explanation I guess.”
I nodded, and finished my food silently. John sat beside me all the while.
John took the empty containers and walked out again when I had finished. He came back with a pale blue fabric draping over his arm. He stood by my bedside and shook out the fabric to held it out – it was a pale blue long dress.
“Wow,” I gasped; the dress looked absolutely stunning, with floral patterns all over.
John grinned at me, “This is for you,” he gave it to me.
“Thank you,” I smiled back at him, “When did you get this?”
“When I first saw you in the market, as John,” he sat down on his chair again, “You were wearing a blue dress and you looked so beautiful in blue. So I bought this dress afterwards and hope to give it to you one day.”
“Thank you so much,” I felt touched; it was so sweet of him, “I love this dress.”
I beckoned him to lean over and I kissed his cheek. He smiled widely, showing his teeth.
“Could you help me put this on?” I asked, as I was wearing basically nothing right now.
“Of course,” he said, and helped me up to get into the dress as carefully as he could be. He opened the door of the closet to reveal a rack of clothes, and a full length mirror. He held my arms to support me and stood behind me in front of the mirror.
I admired the dress, and John was smiling at me through the mirror. I had to admit it did look good on me, and seeing John standing so close to me sent butterflies in my stomach wild. I wished this picture could last forever.

John took care of me for around a week, and he was the most caring person I had ever known. He helped me with everything, and I got to know him more. He was truly the right man for me – but sadly he and I could not be a possibility; we had made it clear since the beginning.
He was very sweet and funny. He was very gentle, and did not push me like Alex did. He treated me as his first priority; he did care about me. He worried over the tiniest frown from me, scared that I was not feeling right. Every time we touched, I could feel an electric shock being sent through my body and my stomach would begin to flip. And I could tell that John felt the same way, from the way he looked when we were together. But we both knew nothing further could happen.
Then the day of saying goodbye came. My wound had almost healed completely, and I could walk on my own. John walked me to the end of the forest his house was situated in, and he told me I could follow this deserted path and I could go into town again. He would not walk with me further, as he was afraid that his enemies would find him again and he did not want to put me in danger again.
“So I guess this is goodbye,” John turned around to face me, his face full of sadness and his eyebrows were pulled together.
I bet my expression mirrored his, “Thank you for everything, John,” I was trying hard not to cry.
“I wish you can find the right guy one day,” a hint of his effort on smiling hanging around the corner of his mouth, “Someone that can protect you and treat you right. You don’t deserve all those dangers.”
“John,” I croaked, my voice stuck in my throat. I could not speak anymore. John pulled me into a hug and he kissed my cheek. I blinked a few times, holding in my tears. I threw my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoe, holding him tightly.
Finally John released me, and wiped away a tear that had escaped from my eye, “Goodbye, (Yn),” he whispered.
“Goodbye,” I whispered back, another tear rolling down my cheek.
I turned around and walked down the path slowly. I glanced backwards to look at John, to see him still standing there, his eyes watery. I knew I should not have done this; this would only make leaving him harder for me. But I could not resist. My heart broke into a million pieces.
Tears fell down my cheek furiously, and I began to sob. The image of John could not be erased from my mind; all I could think about was John.
There was like an invisible force pulling me backwards towards him, and I tried to increase my speed. But my heart just ached more. It got to a point where I thought I was going to go crazy and I could not take the pain anymore – it was even more overwhelming than the pain I felt when I got stabbed in the waist.
I could not do it anymore; I turned around and ran towards John, throwing myself at him and forced my lips on his.