Assassin

Reality

Anna and Juliet accompanied me to go and see the doctor. On the way, I was feeling weak and dizzy, so they supported most of my weight and I just stumbled along. They waited for me outside the doctor’s room while I was inside.
I just sat there and let the doctor examine me. My mind was somewhere else, as I was feeling very sick. I could not focus and my mind was in a trance. The doctor was telling me what was wrong with me, but I could not bother. I would just have to know how to take my medicine, and that was all I should know about. The other details would not be as important. I guessed I must have caught a stomach virus or flu.
I just kept nodding mindlessly until certain words coming from the doctor’s mouth caught my attention.
“I think there is a high possibility that you are pregnant,” the doctor told me.
I immediately sat up straight and thought I must be paying not enough attention and that I had heard it wrong.
“What?” I asked the doctor, my mouth hanging open.
“You might be pregnant,” he repeated.
“I – I am – what?” I asked again, just to make sure. How could I be pregnant? What would people think of me if they knew about this? What would happen to me and my baby? How should I tell John about this? Should I tell him about this? Would he run away from me? Who knew what my parents would do to me, and most importantly, John!
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered.
I looked up at the doctor with a shocked expression and he nodded.
“What – what should I do?” I stuttered.
“Take good care of yourself and don’t do anything dangerous and can harm you or your baby, like picking up heavy things, and come back for checkup regularly,”
I nodded, still not yet recovered from the shock.
“Thank you doctor,” I whispered and stood up, and went out of the room.
I let the door close behind me, and stood there frozen like a statue. Thousands of possibilities were running through my mind, and I was very confused. Why did life have to be so complicated?
“How’s it?” Anna and Juliet, who were sitting on the bench beside the door which I just came out from, stood up and asked me worriedly.
“I – I…” I tried to say something, but nothing came out. I slumped down on the bench, clutching my head. I was feeling very dizzy.
They brought me back home and put me in bed.
“What is happening, (Yn)?” Anna asked softly, staring at my expressionless face. I was staring straight at the ceiling.
“Did you get a stomach virus?” Juliet guessed.
I did not respond. I was still in shock. And I was panicking inside.
“I guess you need some rest,” Anna suggested, and she pulled Juliet out of the room. Before they closed the door, Anna whispered, “We’ll come back later.”
I kept staring at the ceiling, and now my brain had got to the point where it had been overused and could not work anymore. My mind suddenly went blank and eventually I fell asleep.

Later when I woke up, it was almost dinner time and the sound of Anna and Juliet’s entrance woke me.
“How are you feeling?” Anna asked when they had got closer.
I was feeling a bit better, but my mind was now filled with the frightening fact again. I moved my hand to put it on my lower stomach under the duvet.
“Do you need anything?” Juliet asked, seeing my movement.
I shook my head gently.
“What’s wrong, (Yn)? You’re getting us worried,” Anna asked.
I kept stroking my stomach lovingly under the blanket, trying to connect with my baby. The baby of John and me.
Anna and Juliet kept staring at me, and suddenly Anna’s eyes widened and her hands flew up to her mouth.
“(Yn),” she whispered in shock, “Are you – are you – pregnant?”
Juliet jumped and I kept my position for a few seconds before nodding.
“Are you sure?” Juliet gasped.
I nodded again.
“Wha – what should we do now?” Anna asked, “Do you think you should tell John?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged.
“But you’ll have to tell your parents!” Anna said.
“No!” I said immediately, “We can’t!”
“(Yn), this is a serious matter,” Anna said, “You’ll have to tell them!”
“But they’re going to kill her!” Juliet exclaimed.
“Don’t tell them! They’ll hurt John!” I quickly said, although now that I thought of it, John was a very talented assassin; I did not think he could be hurt by my parents, even if they sent people to kill him. But still, telling them about this would be the end.
“Come on, be sensible!” Anna said, “Does he really worth it?”
I nodded madly, “Yes he does! He means everything to me! I cannot live without him and please, please help me keep this secret!”
Juliet nodded, but Anna just stood there.
“Anna!” Juliet exclaimed, “Maybe we can come up with something else!”
“What can be done besides telling them?” Anna said, “They will know one day! Your stomach is going to grow!”
“Please, Anna,” I begged, sitting up, ignoring the dizziness as I did so.
Anna thought for a bit and finally nodded, “I’ll help you cover up for some time, but well you will have to tell them one day,”
“Thank you so much Anna,” I thanked her sincerely.
“Are you meeting John tonight?” Juliet asked, “Are you going to tell him about this?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “What if he runs away afterwards?”
“Doesn’t he love you?” Juliet said, “If he does, he won’t do that to you!”
“I’m just scared,” I said, “He’s a perfect person and here I am, just plain me; I’m not sure Juliet.”
“I think you should tell him,” Anna said, “Since you said maybe you can come up with a better way than telling your parents, maybe telling him can help.”
“I’m really scared,” I said.
“Don’t be, you’ll have to give it a try,” Juliet said.
I thought about it, “Let’s see how it goes tonight. I’m not going to skip tonight’s date…”

When the time of meeting up with John came, I sneaked out quietly and my heart was thumping hard against my rib cage. It felt like the air coming in my throat was extra cold tonight; I had difficulties breathing.
I dragged my footsteps but arrived at the kitchen at last. I took a few deep breathes before opening the backdoor. I scanned my eyes in the darkness and spotted John in his usual spot in the shadows.
John’s face lit up once he saw me, and half ran to me cheerfully.
“Hey (Yn),” John pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.
“John,” I mumbled against his warm chest.
“Shall we go now?” John released me but kept my hand in his, our fingers laced together.
I nodded, and we started towards the little hut.
On the way, I was being unusually quiet. I tried to act normally but I could not; it seemed like I did not know how to speak. John noticed that and kept shooting glances at me.
At last John could not stand this and asked, “Is something wrong, love?”
I did not nod nor shake my head; I just bit my lip.
John stopped in the track, and put a finger under my chin to make me look up at him, “Come on, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled, trying to look away.
John forced me to look at him and he leaned closer to held my eyes, “You can tell me anything,”
“Let’s just get to the hut, can we?” I managed to say under his intense gaze.
He studied my face for a few seconds before letting me go, “Okay then,” took my hand again and we continued our journey.
Finally we arrived at the little wooden hut and it still looked the same as the first time I saw it. But the difference was that this time I was not feeling excited and happy; I was feeling nervous and terrified. I did not want to face reality and tell John the truth. I could not bear to think of his reaction. I was so scared that he would react badly.
We went into the hut and sat down on the bed as usual. John wrapped an arm around me and held me against him tightly.
“So now can you tell me what’s going in your head?” John asked gently, stroking my arm.
I took a deep breath.