raising your little elephant

Chapter Four- It Takes a Herd

Have you ever heard the expression: 'It takes a village'? More than likely you have. Much like elephants and a number of other species, humans grow best in a communal environment. A community allows us to grow under the guidance of our parents, but it also allows others to help shape our development. These additional influences of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and even cousins, are referred to as our extended family. You will find similar connections in a herd of elephants. They do not carry all these fancy titles for the little baby pachyderms' relatives, but they all play a part none the less in the development of the youth's in the group.

Sadly, in the human version of this community there may be a number of obstacles to this sort of community atmosphere. Modern technology and great distance often divide extended families so that communal and family bonds do not form. Sometimes a phone call or a brief cross-country visit is the best we can do. Our community is often manufactured through fellow students we meet at school or neighbors with whom we associate. These do not replace the full scope of a family-based community, but we will take what we can get. In today's world of pandemics, the walls have closed in even more as many are now confined to an interactive screen to make connections. This last point however may hold a key to restoring what may have been lost over recent decades. Through such technology we may now be able to rediscover long lost family and friends who may have vanished from our view, but still hold a place in our memory.

Regardless of how you approach this topic, one thing is certain. We all need other people in our lives in order to grow. So many families today are divided by a missing parent. They may have died. They may be separated from us by divorce. If this is the case, we may only see either one in segments. Some were raised by one or more parents that are not even related to us. Wherever you stand in this story, community may be the only thing that can provide any kind of stability. The question is: 'What kind of community will you embrace?'

We came here to talk about elephants but first we must take a step back and discuss what it may be like to be part of a pack. Take your pick, hyenas, wolves, etc... The communal need in us may have drawn you into a gang at some point in your life. If so, it is understandable. The desire to gather with others is a natural desire, and a gang feeds this desire well. Unfortunately, it will almost invariably lead to some very unhealthy behaviors. Much like certain animal packs, a gang is usually motivated by a hunter or predator like mentality which will not help your little elephant to grow. If you have embraced this form of community please understand it will not take you where you want to go in your development.

There are a number of community-based groups out there that have noble goals but remember these groups may also come with agendas. If our inner elephant starts to feed on this kind of community it will help you grow to a point but will still stunt you from growing to your full potential. Elephants do not have agendas. Elephants feed. They also contribute to our planet in ways that most people are not aware of. For instance, because of their great size a herd of elephants will often contribute to pulling down trees to make room for new growth. They will also spread seeds over long distances thus improving reforestation. Their great weight will even pound the seedlings into the ground. It has even been reported that elephants indirectly serve as a defense against crime for many human villages. It has been noted that villagers report feeling safer in areas where elephants roam. In the absence of their influence where poachers have slaughtered them crime and gang warfare often rises.

It is quite ironic that the human race should have so much in common with this species of mammal. We can learn a great deal from this magnificent creature. So, what else can an elephant teach us? Well, for one thing elephant society is maternal based. This matriarchal clan however should not threaten our male driven chauvinist society. Okay now you are probably thinking there is no way I will be able to mention the Bible to prove this point. Well, that is exactly where we are headed.

We have some pretty crazy ideas about what the role of a man should be in a human family. We always picture God as a man in scripture. Even angels are assigned the male gender in scripture. This has more to do with grammar than gender. In reality the terms in the original language are gender neutral, but humans often need these distinctions in language. What is my point? Sorry ladies God is not a woman, but God is also not a man. Almost all living creatures on earth are either one gender or the other. This is not always true. God is not a homophobe either. He created certain species of frogs that can switch gender when necessary. This does not mean he recommends this sort of behavior among humans who cannot successfully reproduce today without the trickery of science. That is not to say that we should demean those, who for reasons unknown to us, are drawn to behaviors that we might consider improper. We have no idea what they have been through in their lives.

Now, I realize pretty much everyone's inner elephant who is reading this is quite upset with me right now. Please bear with me. The point is God does not have a gender. He can be as Patriarchal as we need him to be. He can also be as Matriarchal as we need him to be. He can become whatever he needs to become in order to accomplish his purposes. Humans are not this versatile. There are a number of scriptures that describe God in a role that would normally be given to a woman. At the same time, these verses will simultaneously refer to him as a father. This means we may have missed something in our understanding of gender assigned roles. Here are some examples of the maternal love that God can have as found at Hosea 11:3, 4; Hosea 13:8; Deuteronomy 32:11, 12, 18; Isaiah 42:14; 49:15; 66:13. These are only a few examples that God is not Mr. Macho.

Our true potential is not revealed through sex change operations or erasing gender from our identity entirely. The key lies in rediscovering what we are actually capable of as men and women. We need to start from scratch and reinvent our personal definition of who we really are. There is a man who seemed to have a grasp of this concept. He knew how to be a real man without losing the gifts that we assign to a mother. He will be the topic of our next chapter. His name was Fred Rogers, and he seemed to know a thing or two about elephants.