raising your little elephant

Afterword

I do not know how you will choose to use the information we have explored throughout the pages of this book. You might use it to win friends or influence people. You might use it to overcome some personal trauma or challenge you have faced in life. You might still be skeptical since I have provided no empirical evidence to support my claims. You might be turned off to adopting these concepts because they sound too religious. Or, perhaps you will reject them because they sound too philosophical. That's okay. I didn't write this to convince you.

Only you can convince yourself of what is true. You may be a person who respects Jesus of Nazareth but still doesn't completely trust his invitation to follow in his footsteps. This isn't about winning an argument. It's about having a discussion. That's all Jesus ever wanted for us as well. He just wanted us to have a discussion with our creator. A discussion is the first step in a relationship.

Conversation is binary. I believe the first relationship in the universe was binary. This is such an important concept. Many times, conversations become an 'us versus them' argument. This happens because each person only has their own perspective to draw from. This will often blind us to the other person's viewpoint. This behavior robs both individuals of their dignity because it trivializes the identity of each one. The result is a lack of trust on both sides. This is a very unreasonable approach to take.

There is almost always a winner in every argument. This is often accomplished by using a method that suppresses the viewpoint of the opposing party. It is a two-step process. (1) Diminish the other person's reputation with some condescending label. (2) Establish a loss of their credibility using logic to goad them into submission. There is a third step that is often used as a distraction. This is the carrot at the end of the stick they are beating us with. For elephants it's the peanuts. (3) They will appeal to our personal desires that will often manifest as greed on our part.

This three-step method is like a metal chair that is provided to restrain, while also comfort us with a false sense of security. We don't realize it but it will also be our instrument of execution if we don't escape its clutches. Mutual respect is the only way out of this destructive pattern.

A discussion doesn't need to have a winner. It should instead allow for a point of agreement by both parties. Both parties should feel dignified. There should be mutual trust. Only then can a conversation come to a reasonable conclusion. This will lead to a beautiful friendship. Every discussion will be a pleasure for all parties involved. As we share our thoughts with each other we will know that each conversation will never truly be the last. It is merely to be continued.