destructive? idk i need help wiht better names

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I stay up wondering late at night,
If things will be alright.
I'm so scared of what others see,
But mostly of what she'll think of me.

Her opinions hurt most of all,
She's the reason that I fall.
Her words cut deep like a knife,
Making me want to end my life.

It's so unfair how others choose,
How much I will lose.
Though the person who tells me who to be,
Is the heartless and destructive me.

-s

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