Yuanfen / / Jenlisa AU/ /

I cant imagine my life without you

Double Update Cause I Don't Have Class This Morning

The pain in my chest increases, and I stand up. Looking down into the sink as I try to catch my breath. 

1. . .2. . . 3. . . 4 . . .5

I look up from my sink, nose runny and eyes swollen as if I was standing in a field during spring, and at my mirror.

My eyes were bloodshot, and warm tears ran down my cheek as the pain inside my chest increased.

I go to wash my face when a fluttery feeling tickles my throat, burning me as I cough.

No matter how hard I cough it won't move, the feeling of burning ripping through me.

I lean over the toilet as I carry on coughing, my eyes watery and ears numb to outside noise. I keep choking until I can feel a warmth in my throat.

Almost like vomit, but there's something different

Something wrong.

Gaining a temporary amount of oxygen I decide to stick my index and middle finger into my mouth, allowing them to snake down my throat.

Gagging heavily I quickly remove them, allowing whatever's stuck in my throat to come out freely, I shut my eyes tightly, the pain of it travelling through my throat bringing tears to my eyes.

A bitter, flowery taste fills my mouth making me gag once more, only to have the same taste fill my throat again.

Once I'm sure I've let it all out, I walk over to the towel rack to clean the sweat and tears off my face.

"What the hell was that about?" I mutter to myself, clearing my throat a few times as I go to flush the toilet.

My eyes widen once I see what floats on top of the blue water.

A thousand yellow petals lay peacefully on top of the water, occasionally topping one another due to the water movement.

I reach down and grab a petal, inspecting it with a heavy heart and even heavier chest.

Lilies

I tightly grasp the petal as tears run down my face. 

Holding my head in my hands as I shake in disbelief and pain

"Fuck" I whisper

I grab the rest of the petals out, seeing as they won't flush and throw them out of the bathroom window.

I wash my hands thoroughly and brush my teeth.

"Jen? Where are you?" Lisa shouts from my bedroom

I wash my face once more, trying to hide the very obvious fact that I was crying. 

Giving up I walk out of the bathroom, head down as try to avoid Lisa's gaze.

"How come your not looking at me Jen?" She asks softly. I watch the floor as her Patrick Star socks come into view. 

A smile grin forms on my face as I see my own SpongeBob socks facing her Patrick ones

The grin falls off my face when a familiar fluttering sensation fills my stomach. It's not as strong as before, so maybe it's just a reminder. 

A reminder that no matter how much I may want her she's not mine

"Hey. Whats up Nini?" Lisa asks softly, her hand gently pressed onto my chin as she lifts my head up.

She frowns slightly when she see my face, and probably the tears that run down it. 

She pulls me into  a soft embrace, rubbing my back gently