Yuanfen / / Jenlisa AU/ /

You wouldn't understand it so why do I feel obligated to stay?

I lay in my bed, laptop resting on my stomach as I read through the information provided. 

As I reach the end of the blog, I can feel my stomach turning. 

I slam the screen closed, and hold my head, grabbing in my hair in my fist as I allow the tears to run. 

It's 4:30 am and I just finished coughing up some more of those fucking petals.

I decided to read up on the Hanahaki thing as soon as Lisa left. But I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I could die.

I mean yeah sometimes I joke around and say I wanna die. I say it all the time when I'm stuck in those boring uni lectures. 

But I can't actually imagine leaving my parent's behind. Or my friends. 

"Fuck sake" I whisper, salty tears leaking into my mouth. 

I hold my mouth to try to silence the sobs. 

A buzzing goes off from underneath my pillow. I quickly wipe my tears and pick it up, desperately trying to stop the tears from flowing. 

PATRICK STAR
I can see you crying. Can I come over?

I look over at the house across, watching as Lisa grabs an old blanket and opens her window. She slowly steps out, safely landing on the grass below. I cover my face and groan in frustration and sadness.

Why must she be so damn observe? Why the hell haven't I replaced my curtains?

I uncover my face and look out of my window, as Lisa watches me with worry etched into her beautiful face. 

I slowly drag myself out of bed, turning back around to turn my laptop off completely. I put the laptop on the desk and open the window. 

I offer my hand to her like usual and wait for her to take it. 

As she holds my hand I feel a spark electricity shoot through my arm. I try to not flinch as she steps on the window, feeling a warmth behind my eyes.

Before she can even speak I quickly run into my bed and cover up. Allowing small sobs to fill the pillow case. The bed shifts slightly as a faint tugging at the cover makes me shake my head.

"Please let me hug you Jen." Lisa whispers, trying not to wake my parent's 

I can hear the frustration in her voice. I move my body off the edge of the cover to allow Lisa to come in, my face still covered by the pillow as she swiftly embraces me. Sharing her warmth with me. 

The sobs get louder when she hugs me tighter, and it hurts to breathe. 

"I'm always here for you Nini" Lisa whispers, sounding as if she too is crying.

I throw the pillow on the floor and hug her tightly crying into her neck as she rubs my back soothingly. 

"I love you Nini" Lisa whispers, joining our legs as she continues to rub spirals on my back.

I cry into her shirt, allowing sleep to overcome me.

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"No Lisa we're not talking about it" I sigh, running a single hand through my hair.

Lisa bends down to tie her trainers and scoffs

"Why the hell not?"

"Because you asked me if I wanted too and I'm saying no." I quip sarcastically, hoping she'd just drop it