[ Jironn ]
Watching her walk away was a heartache. I missed the way she counts her steps until she arrives home. Silently.
I inhaled and exhaled deeply.
Parang nawala nalang bigla ang nararamdaman niya sa akin. I've been here since yesterday, naghihintay. Nagbabakasakali na maaalala na niya ako.
But I was wrong... Mukhang hindi na yata.
"You know what? Just leave me alone!" she yelled it to her friends but parang sa akin yun umepekto. It looks like she's okay if I haven't beside her.
Absolutely yes. She can't remember me and it hurts me a lot. God! What should I do now? I can't leave her, kahit pinapanood ko lang siya ngayon mula sa malayo, sapat na muna...sa ngayon.
While watching her, she's getting short tempered while talking to her friends. Sa tingin ko ayaw niyang magkita kita sila dito. Sa aming tagpuan.
Since then, she started to hate this place, and it sucks! Pero hindi ko siya masisisi. I can't shout at her and get mad at her. I just need her attention right now.
Kumakapit na lamang ako sa paniniwala na kahit makalimutan man ng isang tao ang kaniyang minamahal, mararamdaman at mararamdaman parin nito ang pag ibig naglipasan man nito ng mahabang panahon.
I'm also holding on to our promise, our plans. I'm still hoping that she will recognize me. Kahit na sa tingin ko'y imposible.
At this point, balak na ata niyang umuwi. Muli kong nasilayan ang mga mata niyang tila nalilito sa ngayon.
Kasalukuyan kasi akong nagtatago sa likuran ng banga.
Wala paring nagbago sa kaniya...
"Huy! Anong ginagawa mo diyan?!" bungad ko sa kaniya.
And... Yeah, she recognized me. But not as her own. She thought that I have a girlfriend na binibisita dito and it melts me by the thought of it. Right now I want to shake her off to make her out of reality. That I'm her f*ckin' boyfriend and not a damn unnamed stranger of hers.
The sun's reflection was visible in her eyes while talking innocently in front of me. Back then, I can read her... Pero ngayon parang siya ang nagbabasa sakin.
"Nag-aalala ka sa kaniya? That's normal. If you really love that person, it's normal to worry for her. Ako nga, wala akong boyfriend. Kaya wala akong inaalala. Ha haha ha...."
Those lines echoed back in my ears hundred times. Her innocent eyes were screaming impatience. She wants to go home, I think.
Dati, ayaw na ayaw niyang umuwi kami ng maaga, pero ngayon halata ang pagka disgusto sa kanya.
***
I wish I can take back the time when my name was still engraved in your heart.
But now, it was totally faded. It was faded.
