Why did it have to be me?

Chapter 18

London's POV
    Niall has been here for 3 weeks and to be honest after the entire kissing situation things are going really well. You know other than the kiss. But I am nervous because Niall wants to talk. Talk about what? I'm scared. What if he did something? What is I did something wrong? Or worse what if he has to go back to London? I don't know I guess I don't want him to leave. I really like him.

    "Okay what did you need to talk about?" I asked as I sat on the couch. "3 weeks ago." Is all he said. Is this about that kiss I hope not. "The kiss I didn't mean to I'm sorry." He said. "Niall it's okay." I said with a smile. "No it's not I kissed you and I shouldn't have. I can't be doing this stuff." He said. Okay now I'm confused. "Doing what stuff?" I asked. "Kissing you. I can't do it again." He said. What? "Niall it's not that big a deal." I said. "It was just one little kiss what is one kiss gonna do?" I asked. "I can't have you fall in love with me." He said. Ouch.

    "That's a little demanding don't you think?" I asked. "London you can't like me, you can't fall in love with me and I won't allow it." He said. "Okay I never said I liked you and you can't just tell someone when they can and can't fall in love." I said. "I can when it evolves me." He said. "Niall what is the big deal?" I asked throwing my hands in the air. "Because London I can't deal with relationships and it hurts loving me and you can't go through that and I won't let you either." He said kinda raising his voice.

    "Niall if you don't want me to fall for you than why the hell did you kiss me in the first place." I said with a loud tone. "Because I was caught in the moment and it won't happen again." He said standing up. "You can't just walk away." I yelled. "Why not the conversation is over, you aren't aloud to love me that's my one rule and you have to fallow it." He yelled back. "I can't follow something I can't control." I said. "Than try harder." He said. "Niall your because ridiculous." I said. "Oh I'm ridiculous? How about you huh you went out on your 21st birthday and slept with me and now look at you." He said point to me.

    I could feel my eyes start to water up. "That's really what you think of me? That I'm just a slut that goes around and sleeps with people? Well guess what Niall it takes two to get pregnant and your the dad. To believe I had some feeling for you and you just go around and tell me how to live my life . And now I'm a whore." My voice started to get shaky. I couldn't take anymore of this I walked to my room and slammed to door. "London I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said open the door." Niall said as he banged on the door.

    "What part, where you tried to control my life or when you called me a slut?" I managed to choke out. "When I called you a slut please open the door. "No why, why are you trying to tell me to not love you? I asked. "Because you can't." He said. "Why not what's the big deal." I asked. "You can't tell me that you didn't feel a single thing when you kissed me." I said. "London I'm sorry but I can't." He said. I opened the door and stared at him. "Your telling me that all those times we laughed and talked over the phone you never felt a single thing, or when you felt you baby for the first time?" I asked. "That's exactly what I'm tell you." He said.

    "So if I kissed you right now you are saying you won't feel a single thing?" I asked he nodded. I inches closer and connected our lips he was the first to say anything. "You can't love me I'm sorry." He said. "Fine." Was all I could say. This hurt, it hurt bad. I mean why what the point? Share all of these moments than say you can't love me it hurts to much. It doesn't make sense. It hurts I mean I really like Niall and he turns around and tells me we can never be together. I'm just really confused.

Addison is coming in less than 5 weeks and I'm scared. I mean what if something happens or what if Niall can't be there because of a show? I am stressing out about this to much and it's not good for the baby. "Hey I have to go I'll see you in three days." Niall said walking out of the door before I could even say goodbye. Niall has 2 shows one in Utah and one in New Mexico than he will be back. I'm not scared about him being gone I'll just be happy when he is back.

Niall's POV
I feel horrible for leaving like that but I'm not good at talking. I get mad way to easily and I have already yells at London way to much. I really like her a lot but I can't date her. I can't put her through that pain. Trust me I feel bad. I knew going onto this it wouldn't end well but I want to be part of Addisons life I already love her more than I can explain.

"Alright boys get on the plane let go." Paul yelled. Harry and Liam sat across from me and Louis sat right next to me. "Ni are you alright mate." Louis said. "M'fine." I said pulling out a water bottle than taking a drink. "Mate I know when you are lying come on you can tell me." He said as he put his arm around me. "I told London that she can't fall in love with me and than we got in a fight and I left without saying anything." I said. "I'm sorry but Niall do you like her?" He asked me. I looked down and didn't say anything.

"Ni" Louis asked. "Of course I like her Louis I mean why would I? She's kind, she's pretty, she's smart. She knows how to make me laugh when I'm having a hard day. For god sakes she's carrying my child she's going to be in my life forever." I blurted. Harry and Liam both looked over and Louis waved them away. "Niall I'm sorry I really am but you need to talk to her." He said. "Lou I tried and that turned into me telling her she can't fall for me." I said. "Okay just give it time." He said.

When we arrived to the venue I texted London and told her we arrived safely and all she sent back was a thumbs up. I'm stupid I never should have brought up that kiss and I never should have talked to her in the first place. "Niall it's your turn." Lou said. "Hey Lou." I said as I sat in the chair. "Hi salt so how is everything going?" She asked. "Really good Addison is coming in less than a month and I'm excited." I said with a smile. "Well I'm excited for you. I can't wait to meet her." She said with a smile. "Babe when are you telling the fans." She asked as she messed with me hair. "Honestly I don't know Lou. I know I need to come out about it but I just can't. I mean what if they hate me?" I asked.

"Niall they love you, they could never hate you no matter what." She said with a smile. "But your right they do deserve to know but it is up to you to come around and you take all the time you need and that includes London." She said. "Do you think it would go better if I post something I feel like I won't be able to come clean in person?" I asked. "In my opinion it might be safer if you tweet something because I know how you are so what ever works best for you." She said. "Thank you Lou." She cut me off with the hair dryer and shot me a smile. "Alright Hon all done." She said. "Thank you again Lou love you." I said than kissed her on the cheek. "I love you to salt." She said with a smile.

"What are we going to do with that boy?" Caroline asked. "He's definitely special." Lou said. I turned around and gave them a smile and they waved. It was time for me to go on stage with my brothers this is my favorite part of my job. Going out there and seeing the smiles on the fans faces and hearing how happy they are. This is the best life anyone could ever ask for.

    "Oh my god the crowd was the best." Liam said with a smile. I just gave gave him a smile. "Liam your soaked go get dressed." Harry said. "Well I wouldn't be Louis didn't dump water on me every 10 seconds." Liam said as he shot a smirk to Louis. "Haha you love it." Louis teased. Liam rolled his eyes and walked away.  This is my life a bus full of boys who fight like brothers. I love this life!

Hi! This chapter is short because I didn't exactly know how to write it. I only know what I wanted to be in it I hope you like it!