FREE FLYING HEARTS -- A collection of short stories from Tonig73

..... 6 .....

As much as he didn't want to, Larry still had engagements and dates and events he had committed to, but couldn't cancel, and, as he was a man of his word, he kept it.  He did what he had to do.  Not that it didn't suck every minute he was away from Laurent, because it did.  His teammates noticed the difference in him too.  His demeanor, his body language, he didn't smile as much.  And he wasn't performing as well.  He used to land every trick, every demo was flawless, and every single person privileged enough to be watching him, could feel his absolute joy.  But now, this time he was away from Laurent, and it was only for a few days, things were different.  

He was still happy, God, he loved his job, this thing called skateboarding, the freedom he felt, the joy that consumed him as soon as he stepped on a board.  But, now ?  Not so much.  He wanted to be somewhere else, and his head wasn't in it.  And his heart was absolutely, positively, back in San Diego with the man and the son he loved more than reason.

He and Pierce had made a deal, more than willingly, that one or other of them would always be with Laurent, that both of them wouldn't be away at the same time.  They hadn't told him as much, and he wasn't stupid, but he was grateful.  After that night when Larry had laid both their hearts bare, about how he and Pierce felt, Laurent had tried to understand more from their perspective.

Laurent was getting to the point now, where, in his quiet moments, he would get a little scared, but wasn't that to be expected ?  He would scare himself, if he was honest, and he thought back to when Larry had told him not to listen to the voice in his head.  So, he tried his best not to, but if neither Pierce or Larry were around, the voice kept him company, as much as he wanted his unwelcome visitor to leave.

--  What if they don't find a heart, what then ?  --  it asked.

--  What if you die, what will they do without you ?  --  it goaded him.

There was nothing much he could do about it, was there ?  He would just spend his time, as much as he could, with the people he loved, and in the places he loved.  Sat on his stool, at the end of the coffee bar in Blue Mountain, watching Larry make coffee like a pro, laughing and talking with his customers and their friends.  And watching Larry, just being in his presence, was always a joyous thing. 

He and Larry sometimes went to their special place, to Cabrillo Monument, a national park set high on a promontory that jutted out into the ocean, like a long green tendril, the view from up there, absolutely stunning.  The city itself lay beneath their feet, as it stretched inland, snow covered mountains in the distance.  On a clear day, you could follow the coastline for miles from Tijuana, in Mexico, to the south, all the way north to the Catalina Islands, off the coast of L.A.  And one day, when they needed some peaceful contemplative alone time, they went there, as the fog rolled in from the sea, and they found themselves above it all.  Sequestered away, in their own little world, it seemed, a white fluffy blanket stretched out before them as far as the eye could see, the sun shining down on them from a cloudless, brilliant blue sky.  There were no people, no city noise from below, no wind, no sound at all.  Just the two of them sat on a rock, curling into one another's warmth, in complete and utter silence.  It was sublime.

"Do you think this is what heaven is like ?"  Laurent had asked Larry.  He hoped it was, but he knew that this version of heaven, with Larry sat next to him, wasn't possible, not yet.  It couldn't be heaven, unless Larry was by his side.  Holding his hand, gazing into his eyes, holding his stupid, ageing, decrepit heart in his beautiful strong hands.

"Don't even think like that"  Larry had told him, cuddling into his side more.  It was a while ago, before Laurent had even begun to feel the effects of his condition, his disease.  Before his mind became overwrought and heavy about his worn out heart, and his worried soul.