FREE FLYING HEARTS -- A collection of short stories from Tonig73

A Shitty Day All Round ...

"Shit !"  Larry hissed as he cut himself shaving, again, in the barely there, cracked, tarnished mirror, the blunt razors edge doing it's worst.  Sometimes, he didn't know why he even bothered.  His day was already starting out shitty, and it was obviously carrying on in that vein.  It was going to be one of those days, he could just feel it.  Not that most of his days weren't like that now anyway, he was just getting better at accepting that fact.

His bed last night at the shelter had been a top bunk, one of the only beds left available, so he had no choice.  He hated the top bunks, as he had the tendency to toss and turn during his sleepless nights, which inevitably led to him losing the thin blanket the shelter had provided him, and he either didn't have the energy, or couldn't be bothered to climb down and retrieve it.  He didn't want to risk disturbing the other men in the dormitory if he did that, not that they were that bothered about the effects their snoring, or their rancid smell of stale sweat and semen had on him.  Yeah, the male dormitory of a homeless shelter was the ideal opportunity to jack yourself off every night, times the number of men that slept there.   So Larry would curl up in as tight a ball as he could to keep warm, trying to sleep.  Sometimes it worked, and sometimes, like last night, it didn't.

By the time he had fallen asleep, by default, if he slept in, meant he missed a shower.  You only got a shower if you were in line early enough to grab the last of the hot water, unless you wanted a cold one.  And if he slept in, he missed that chance.  Everyone had to be out of bed by 8 anyway, this shelter being a sleeping shelter only, and by the time the staff and volunteers had pushed and shoved, gently of course, and cajoled their nighttime residents through the breakfast line, said a few kind words, and dealt with any emergencies, the doors were shut by 10.  Then, as with the rest of them, Larry was on his own.  But he sometimes lucked out by volunteering there, which, along with his charm, adorable shyness, and good looks, got him preferential treatment when it came to his nightly accommodation.  A few of the female staff and volunteers, and a male or two, had offered him a bed at their place if the shelter was full, which he always politely declined.  Always with an ulterior motive, he knew.  He was tall, bronze skinned, and muscularly lean.  He had beautiful brown eyes, and when he did smile, it lit up the room.  The large, feint bulge in his jeans let the women know that should they get with Larry, he would not be a disappointment.  He knew it could be a way out of this hell hole, and the hell that was his life right now, but he didn't want to live like that.  He wasn't like that.  He had loved two women, one past tense, and the other one he was searching for every single day.  

Larry was an I.T whizz, even though he himself had no idea.  He was good at it at school, and had a great job in his early 20's.  He had been a software developer for a telecoms company, and he loved it.  He saw this first job as a stepping stone to bigger and better things.  He was happy.  He was content.  Then suddenly, from out of nowhere, he became inordinately stupid, and got involved with Reign.  When they were together, they drank, and had sex, a lot.  A lot, of both.  Reign became pregnant with Ember, and while still a loved up couple, Reign dialed back the alcohol, dialed up her temper, and to cope with everything she, and life, were throwing at him, Larry found himself drinking more.  

Soon, the alcohol he used to deal with his daily stress became superfluous.  The stress of work, of Reigns temper, of the beginnings of her abuse, it didn't matter any more, because he lost his job.  He found another one fairly quickly, because, well, he had a family to support, and he didn't take that responsibility lightly.  He was not the type to let them suffer, just because he did.  But he still drank to numb the pain, and to forget that his life was shit.  His only saving grace, his daughter.  Daddy's little girl.

So, Larry would volunteer his time in the shelters office, trying his best to solve their computer related problems, which were many.  And it made him feel ... worthy.  He felt pride that he was the only one, for those few minutes and hours, that could help these people.  Even though he was technically homeless, they treated him with respect, and it made him feel like one of them.  An ordinary, everyday person again.  The way he felt even before Reign, and that was a long time ago.  And he could still feel what that felt like, and it made his heart ache in his chest, to know that that could still be out there for him.  How he would get that back again, God only knew.  Life had just dealt him a shitty hand, and he didn't know the rules of this particular card game yet.  But he would learn, he had to.