He sat there all night.
What the actual fuck ? Larry sat on that damned bench until the lights came on and it got dark. I could see him shivering, holding his arms around himself to keep warm. Where the fuck was Laurent ? No, calm down sis. They don't own each other. There is no relationship here, no commitment. Is there ? I didn't imagine what I saw the other night, surely ? They were ... together. They both felt the same, I could swear it. I could feel it.
Eventually, Larry came into the shop, his arms still wrapped around himself.
"Larry, what are you doing, sweet ? Would you like a hot chocolate ?" He shrugged his shoulders. That's a yes then. "Go sit down, lovely."
"But you're closing .... "
"Not for you." I made him the best hot chocolate I'd ever made, thick and rich, plenty of cream dolloped on the top. I put it in front of him, and just stood.
"Wha-aat ?" He looked miserable. I sat across from him.
"You like him, don't you ?"
"I'm straight." No fucking around, he'd convinced himself of that one thing.
"Maybe you're not, it's just what you've always been, up 'til now. Don't mean nothin'. You don't get to choose who you fall in love with, Larry." His head shot up, his eyes glaring into mine.
"Hold up a sec, who said anything about ... " He couldn't even say it.
"Love, Larry. Love ..... Love. You know, that stupid, awful, amazing feeling, like your gut is gonna fall outta your ass, and there are so many damn butterflies, you gotta fight 'em off. And that look crosses your face."
"What look ?"
"That one." I couldn't help but smile. "This one .... " I pinched his cheek.
"I am not in love with Laurent. Don't be so stupid. This look is .... disappointment, is all."
"Why are you so disappointed ?" I cut him a side glance, smiling at him as he pulled the cream off the top pf his hot chocolate with his finger, pushing it all into his beautiful face in one go. He shrugged again. Then he snorted, knowing I got him. I got him. He looked at me then.
"It's Tuesday, Eve. He's usually here. We have .... things to sort out. Did you know he found Ember ? Oh, my God, he found Ember, Eve .... "
Larry told me all about his daughter, and his girlfriend, his past, and I wanted to cry for him. How he ended up homeless. How he slept on friends sofa's, but could only do that for so long, he didn't want to impose. That Laurent had pushed him to go to College, and refresh his I.T. qualifications. That he'd used his connections to find his daughter. That he'd offered him a home. That he'd got mad at Laurent for thinking he wanted something in return. I had to tell him ....
"I saw you Larry." He shook his head.
"You saw .... what, exactly ?"
"I didn't mean to, but, you were mesmerizing, sweetie. I couldn't take my eyes off you guys. The way he held you, touched you, looked at you. He's just as taken with you, it was plain as day." Larry laughed, stopping suddenly, now incredulous.
"No. He's gay, he's gonna feel those things when he hugs a man, isn't he ? I'm straight." I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at him.
"Do you feel those things when you hug every woman ? No. So, he isn't going to feel those things when he hugs every man. Only you. And will you stop saying that ! Only because that's what you've been so far. Why the labels ? Like I said, you don't get to choose who you fall in love with." Larry looked at me, hurt.
"Then where is he, Eve ? He hasn't tried to get in touch. He said he's take me to see Ember, he hasn't, and that's eating my insides out. He didn't even see Elise today." I thought he was going to cry. I put my hand over his then.
"Perhaps he's busy, sweet." Larry nodded, then shook his head.
"No. I scared him away. He said he was sorry, what we did, and I told him not to be. I scared him away."
"Nothing can scare that man, Larry." He looked into my eyes for along time, until it was uncomfortable. I tried to work out what he was thinking. Try to work out what a man thinks ? Ha ! But he was hurt, and disappointed, and .... scared. Scared of his own feelings for Laurent, but more to the point, he was scared that Laurent wouldn't reciprocate those feelings.
"Nothing can scare that man ?" he snorted derisively, as if he knew exactly what would. Because the very same thing was scaring the bejesus out of him too.
"Love might."
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
On a roll .... just a little thing, 'cos I can't stop. Awww, poor Larbear ..... He is so disappointed in Laurent ..... will he find out about Alex ? .... Is that what Laurent was busy doing tonight ? ..... What now .... Larry has to get to see Ember, surely ? ..... Will he move in with Laurent, or has that all gone south ..... Tell me, tell me ..... all the usuals ...... x T
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FREE FLYING HEARTS -- A collection of short stories from Tonig73
FanfictionThe Heart Wants, What The Heart Wants, And, Like Love, It Is A Fickle Thing. Strong As Steel, But Broken By A Single Tear, It Lives Out It's Days In Love And Hope . A Wild And Dangerous Thing, It Lives In A Cage. All With A Heart Theme, These Sto...