The Truth Can Sting

Part 21

             Lily woke up feeling rather exposed, she had just found out she was depressed, she felt like she would never get better.  She had always been rather unhappy but she never liked to face it so she pushed it away and now it had finally caught up on her.  "Hey lil" jay said as he noticed her eyes opening.  Lily smiled without making eye contact, "morning" she said quietly.  She didn't wanna look at her brothers because she was embarrassed, she felt like now they knew there was something really wrong with her they would see her as a job rather than their baby sister.  Will looked at jay sympathetically and smiled weakly, "you want some coffee?" He said sweetly.  She smiled and nodded slightly, jay smiled at her as Will left to go get them all coffee.  "How you feeling?" Jay asked her a kind of stupid question. 

            Lily looked at him with a smile, "I'm fine, really" she lied.  Jay could see her heart aching through her skin, she had been through so much and now she was crumbling.  He didn't protest against her, instead he just nodded sadly and let her rest back down into the pillow.  Dr Charles appeared in her room just like he said he would last night, "hey lily, you're stats are looking back to normal which is good" he said as he checked her file.  She smiled at him as he sat down, "now I know getting help can be tricky, you might feel embarrassed or scared of change and that's completely normal. We just want you to know that I can help you; if you let me, I can prescribe you medication which could help you along with the therapy sessions..." he took another run at her. 

           She could feel jays pleading eyes begging her to take his help, after all she wanted to get better for her brothers more than herself.  She looked at dr Charles with a blank expression and weakly nodded.  "Great, I'll prescribe them to you now and I'll give you them before you go, which should be in about 1 hour" dr Charles said with a smile.  She smiled at him as he left and she could see that jay had relaxed a bit, "you're doing the right thing" jay broke the silence.  She smiled and looked at him with a slight nod, she may feel like life was moving around her and she was stood still but she also knew he was right.  Will reappeared with three coffees and gave them all their drinks, "thanks" she said with a meaningful smile at Will.  The hour flew by and lily finished getting changed, she was about to grab her stuff when dr Charles walked in with a pharmacy bag, "take one twice a day and you'll have your weakly sessions, if you feel like you need more or less just let me know. This is your recovery, no one else's" he reassured her.  She smiled at him and took the bag from his hands before putting them in her pocket, "thank you" she said nervously. 

             Dr Charles watched them leave, he couldn't believe that it had taken her this long to break after everything she had been through but she was strong and she could power through anything.  "Pizza?" Jay said with a raised eyebrow.  It was only early afternoon but Will and lily agreed, they stopped at a local deep dish house and sat in to eat.  Being the fussy siblings they were they all ordered different pizzas, "mmmm" she said while taking a bite.  She may be feeling down but she still had humour.  Will and jay laughed, "that's disgusting" jay insulted wills pizza.  Will was offended by the comment, "don't put it down till you've tried it" he scoffed back at him.  Lily snickered at their bickering but agreed with jay, "no really will, pineapple doesn't go on pizza" she laughed. 

          Jay smiled at her comment and smiled at seeing lily laugh, Will rolled his eyes at the pair and they finished up eating.  They all decided to go back to jays place and have a lazy day, "I'm gonna have to tell people aren't I?" She sighed while breaking up the concentration of the film.  Will looked at Jay not knowing what to say, "not if you don't want to?" Will said back questioningly.  Lily shook her head, "no I gotta tell them, I can't just leave the people I trust in the dark..." she corrected herself and Will.  Jay looked at Will understandingly, "only if you're ready though" he said with a smile.  Lily smiled back and nodded, "maybe tomorrow" she said before turning her attention back to the film.  Jay nodded and Will smiled, they all felt surprisingly closer since the news dr Charles gave them, sometimes tragic things brought family's closer and this was one of those times.

            It got till around 9pm and Will stood up to go home since nat and woke would be waiting for him, "hey will?" Lily said before he left.  "Yeah?" He said back worriedly, lily smiled at him, "you can tell nat" she gave her consent.  "You sure?" He said back with a raised eyebrow, she laughed slightly and nodded.  He smiled at both jay and lily then turned to leave.  "We have work tomorrow right?" She said while taking a sip from her glass of water.  Jay looked at her weirdly, "yeah...?" He replied back.  She smiled and looked at him, "I'm gonna tell everyone then, they deserve to know the real me, not just the me they think I am..." she said like a poem.  Jay looked at her in shock, "are you sure you're ready?" He said in hesitation.  She paused for a second, "I'm never gonna be ready, I just gotta put one foot in front of the other" she said while standing up.  Jay looked at her like she had six heads, "when did you become so wise all of a sudden?" He said with an amused smile. 

            She laughed, "it's all the time I've spent with you and will, you're rubbing of on me" she said before making her way to her room and yawning. Jay laughed and watched her leave, "night!" She shouted before closing her bedroom door. "Night..." he shouted back. He spent the alone time to process everything, literally everything; her ptsd attack, her new diagnosis, how long she'd been hurting for, he felt like a crappy brother but at the same time he knew no one, even him, could've done anything about it.