Guns & Roses (Larry Stylinson)

Emotions

Hello everyone! It's been a minute, I know. It has been a bit of a difficult time recently-- I posted an announcement about that on my profile if you are wondering-- but I am back!

Thank you all for being so patient!

WARNING: Mentions of self-harm, suicide, murder, and depression. Please read carefully, my loves. <3

Things are going to really pick up eventually. I don't even know if I'm prepared for everything I'm going to have to write out lol

Enjoy!

Chapter 34:

"I don't know if I feel comfortable with you continuing this mission, Louis," Zayn confessed, and I rolled my eyes.

"What are you talking about, Malik? I'm in too deep now to give up! I'm so close to figuring something more out about this gang. I can't stop now." I slipped on some jeans as I spoke to him on the phone, knowing that I would meet up with Harry right after this conversation.

I told Zayn everything about last night. I told him about Lucca; how he seemed unhinged and deranged, I told him about the interrogation they had me participate in, the job they wanted me to do for them, and I told him about the fate of that guy that was tied to the chair. The only thing I neglected to tell him was the guilt and self-doubt that filled my mind after ending another's life.

"Louis, this is too dangerous now. We've lost three of our own, and you're getting into the thick of something that I'm not sure is a good idea to get mixed up in anymore. I think it may be a good idea for you to get to the safe house now instead of staying there."

"No," I declared, pausing in my movements to get ready for the day. "No, I can't leave yet."

"Louis, you have to listen to me when I say-"

"Zayn, I'm not done here," I declared. "There's... still things I have to take care of."

I glanced out of my window to see Harry already walking toward his car to wait for me. He seemed better than he was last night, but I knew well enough to see through the facade.

"Louis, forget the mission for one fucking second!" He shouted at me, and I gritted my teeth.

"This isn't just about the mission anymore, Zayn," I responded, trying not to snap at him. He was our leader, after all. "It hasn't been for a while. There are people from our gang who are mission, and you expect me to just... quit? To run away now with my tail between my legs and hide away some more? Screw that!"

"Louis...." Zayn's voice held a warning in it, and I knew I was getting worked up, but I couldn't help myself.

"Now is the time to act. We infiltrate through me, get any information we can on this gang because so far it's our only lead; our only possibility. If I can just stick this out a little longer, then we can figure this shit out. You know I can do this Zayn. You know that I have to do this. Not just for the mission, but for every single one of our members that are missing. For Niall."

I was met with silence on the other end as Zayn took in my words. I could hear other voices in the background, probably the tech crew communicating to carry out Zayn's many orders he shouted at them previously.

"You know I'm right."

"Unfortunately, I do," He sighed, sounding a lot older than he was. The stress of being in charge was undoubtedly difficult to handle for him. After all, he was right when he said he wasn't raised for it.

"So what's the plan? They said they'd contact me when they have a job for me."

"Go through with it. Whatever they want you to do, do it. If they want someone tortured, then it's for a reason. They must have dirt. It's good if you're in the room to get it."