Guns & Roses (Larry Stylinson)

Calm Before...

Another update? Yes! I honestly love writing this story because of how different it is from things I've written before. I love crime shows and stuff, so this is so much fun to write and plan for. So far, I have up to 46 chapters planned, but that's not the end. I don't know where we'll stop, but probably somewhere around 50+ chapters.

Thank you all for reading and supporting! Now, I'm going to go read/reply to comments on the last chapter.

Warning: Mentions of violence, murder, and death. Also slight mentions of mental illness and losing someone. Also, the descriptions of violence are sort of graphic. DO NOT ATTEMPT THESE! Please read carefully and take care. ❤

Please don't hate me for the ending of this chapter! Instead, just buckle up and get ready because next chapter takes a serious turn!

Chapter 38:

   I didn't know what to do with myself. I spent the entire day trying to come up with some sort of plan that would suffice and only cause the minimum amount of damage to those around me, but I was at an utter loss. Nothing that I could do seemed to work. Everything either ended up with me dead or the gang penetrable.

   Every single idea ended up with Harry being heartbroken and abandoned.

   That was the worst part. I allowed this to go too far too quickly. I knew very well what I was getting into; what I was inadvertently dragging Harry into. I shouldn't have been so weak. I should have known better. Pretending that we could actually be... something... it was the most reckless decision I ever made in my life. To put someone so innocent and kind at such risk was a devastating fail on my part. But ending everything now would surely crush him up just the same. And... as much as it frightened me to admit, it would crush my heart as well.

   I wasn't completely sure when I started to develop feelings for the boy next door. He was just supposed to be a minor obstacle to get around in this game. At the most he was supposed to be a minor casualty if things went wrong. Now, however, he was someone who made me second-think my every move in an attempt to save him. Instead of using the pawns on my chess board to protect myself, Harry turned out to be the piece that I had to protect instead. The King that would lose me the game if he was captured because I would risk all other pieces, use all of my other plays, to save him.

   There was a knock at my door, and I sighed heavily as I stood from the sofa, ready to play pretend with whichever nosy neighbor was at my door this time. If it was Mrs. Lane, I most definitely would not be watching her dog again. I had more pressing matters to attend to.

   To my surprise, Harry was standing at me door with a worried look.

  "I thought you were at the shop?"

  I moved away from the door, turning my back on Harry but hearing him step inside and close to door nonetheless. I didn't have the courage to face him right now.

  "I was, but I got worried when you didn't show, so I closed early," He explained, stepping closer to me. He placed a delicate hand on my shoulder. "I thought something terrible happened to you. That maybe you were hurt or... something."

  "No. I didn't get hurt." I was the one who hurt someone else. Just as I always did. Just as I was taught to do so effortlessly.

  "I'm glad you're okay."

  I could hear the smile in his voice, the sense of relief there. It still surprised me that he cared about someone like me. But I also knew that he wouldn't if he knew all of the cruel acts I've committed.

   I shrugged his hand off of my shoulder, my hands shaking once more at the reminder that I pulled that trigger today. I ended another life without immediate remorse. Remorse was a stranger, in fact, until Harry stepped into my life and introduced us. Remorse and Kindness must be lovers. They seemed to go hand in hand.