𝕊𝕖𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕖 | 𝔸 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕊𝕞𝕡 𝔸𝕌 |

viii

Alexis POV

Sam said that Tubbo had decided to create an army. Not just any army, a butcher army.

I was currently storming my way to l'manburg, the city I built with my dead brother and broken dad. But right now, I was furious. The overwhelming sensation of fear and betrayal mingling together inside of my soul was a dangerous mixture. Tubbo? He certainly wasn't as innocent as everyone always made him out to be, but he was still always incredibly caring and considerate- although he was a completely different person When sleep deprived. When he didn't get enough sleep, he would ramble about the strangest things and became quick to anger. His irritable side flared easily and was something that our whole family learned to work around and help fairly quickly.

Family.

What a broken word. A word that once meant so much to me, held so much love and meaning. So many tender memories that I cherished. Now, the good memories were muddled with painful sights, horrific thoughts and depressing moments that slowly chipped away at my insides. At this point, the word family felt similar to if you repeated the word chimpanzee over and over again quickly, you start to forget how to even say the word. For me, the definition of family had become muddled with all of the horrifying things that had broken down our family with big chunks being removed swiftly from all of our hearts. The pain that constantly sat around our hearts was like a thick haze on a dewy morning. Hard to see past, hard to move on.

I was quickly getting closer to l'manburg, being only a few seconds away when I noticed something. Quackity walking back towards l'manburg, clutching his chest with his arms. He was wearing his blue tracksuit, but now the fabric had been ripped up and sliced with what appeared to be an extremely sharp sword with the clean and precise cuts it had made.

"Quackity?" I was gentle with my words, not wanting to frighten him. I was terrified that he would see me as a threat as we hadn't gotten to know each other as much as we should have. Sapnap was a good friend of his and nick would constantly talk about Quackity and Karl back when.... we were friends. I ended up speaking with Karl quite a bit, finding that we got along splendidly. Yet with Quackity, he was always a little more distant- always joking rather than actually trying to make a new friend. Of course we got along just fine, but we never had the same bonding experience as I had with some of the other people in this smp.

"Ally?" Thank god. He didn't flinch away from me or lash out. He seemed like he just wanted someone to help. His voice cracked as he started to stagger towards me- desperately trying to find some relief from the near death experience he had just entailed.

"Big q? What happened to you?" I laced my arm under his shoulders, attempting to keep him from collapsing onto the soft grass that covered the ground below us. We were just outside of the area that had been deteriorated from the explosion on l'manburg. The grass here was a little discolored compared to the freshness it once held. The bright green tint that the town was full of back when I was younger was quickly deteriorating into ash from all of the tnt and fire that had plagued our land.

"I uhh got in a bit of a fight with someone. Can't we talk about this back in l'manburg?" He seemed a bit off- wanting to make sure that he was being watched as he frantically looked around. I tried to suppress at laugh at the situation- there was never a full moment on this damn smp.

"Sure. Tell me where you'd like to go!" I tried to seem happy- adding a little bit of an incline in my tone at the end of my Sentence. In reality; I was tired. I could feel my brain slowing down and all of my motor skills tanking. My eyes struggling to keep themselves open as I realized that I probably had huge bags under my eyes. I hadn't slept in... I'm not sure how long. You know it's a long time when you've don't even know when the last time you slept was.

"Towards that lake. There is a secret... oh well not so secret anymore. Let's go." I giggled at him and kept walking. Something about this felt normal- even though I was holding a totally cut up Quackity in my arms, keeping him from falling. The nice sensation of having good friends was strong enough to make me forget about the stupid reason I came here. Butcher army. What a dumb thing- I hoped with all of my mind that it was a stupid rumor. Dumb. Rumor.

When we got close, I began to hear bickering. I could make out a few voices- one definitely being Ranboo. Ranboo was a sweet boy, I hadn't gotten to talk to him very much. He was half enderman and half ghast which was a strange combination. I wasn't sure exactly how but I could tell it wasn't a topic he wanted to talk about much so the few times I had spent with him were calm. Him and I, sitting on a cliff looking at the sunset. We didn't talk about much, just general questions and a serene atmosphere. A tender relationship built on the tranquil moments that were irreplaceable and unforgettable. I wouldn't change them for and thing.

"Tubbo? Ranboo? Help!" Quackity called out in hopes of getting their attention. They rushed out and were utterly shocked by the sight they saw. Worried eyes searched Quackity while tubbo narrowed his eyes and glared at me.

"Fundy, Ranboo get Quackity and fix him up. I need to have a talk with ally." Tubbos stern voice shocked me as the boys rushed away. Tubbo motioned for me to follow him towards the pier- something me and him had built together years ago.

"Tubbo? How are you?" I was timid with my tone, worried I would anger him.

"You don't get to ask that." His snap back at me definitely wasn't something I wasn't used to. He had his moments like this sometimes and I was always the one Tommy came and complained to- practically begging me to 'fix him'. I would always just giggle and come over and comfort Tubbo.

I didn't push him. I let him guide me over to the end of the docks. And we both delicately sat down.

"I hate this. This feeling of loneliness and emptiness." His voice seemed broken. He wasn't crying yet but he was close.

"Tommy misses you. Not very many people have come to visit him. Really just me and Ranboo." The only real times I have talked to Ranboo have been the times after visiting Tommy. There was a nice island we always stopped by on our way back and we would sit there and just enjoy being in someone else's presence.

"I'm scared he won't forgive me." There was definitely something off with Tubbo. He wasn't his usual happy, peppy self but he wasn't angry either. He was broken.

"Tubbo, Tommy is your best friend. No matter what happens- you'll always be his best friend." Tubbo seemed conflicted. I could see why. He was required to be two different people right now; Tommy's best friends, or the president of l'manburg. They couldn't overlap. He had to choose.

"I can't. I can't be his friend right now. L'manburg needs me." Thats when I knew something was wrong. The Tubbo I had known my entire life would have chosen friendship over anything. I glanced over at him, tears spilling out of his eyes and a distressed look pressed across his face.

I tried to lean over and be a form of comfort for him, something he had always appreciated. He would always melt into my hugs and return them with more vigor but now things were different. I should have known. Too many things have changed.

I attempted to wrap my arms around him but he quickly pushed my arms away and jumped to his feet, wiping his tears away quickly. The baggy green sweater he wore was a memory that was almost enough to make me smile. I had teaching Tubbo how to crochet, he had spent some times finding sheep and dying the wool the color he wanted just to come and ask me to help him. Now the sweater was falling apart a little with the times he had worn it and the bad quality of it being tubbos first project. His pained voice broke me away from my thoughts.

"Don't touch me Alex." He stormed away without another word, leaving me alone on the pier.

Another friend gone. I should make a list.

____________________

Hi :)

Haven't posted in a while so I'm excited about this one.

Love you all very much

Mwah <3