tainted transparency || a harry potter story

Chapter Twenty-Three: Eight Letters

"Hazel?"

"Blaise, I really don't want to have to tell you off too," I walked past the dark skinned boy further into the hallway filled with students.

"No, Hazel," Blaise grabbed my arm and forced me to face him. "It's Draco. He's in the hospital."

Blaise and I rushed to the hospital wing and I ran into the room by Draco's side. He was lying in the bed asleep. But he looked so weak. His face was pale.

"What happened?"

"Potter," Blaise scowled. "Used some kind of curse on him no one's ever used before. I heard rumor it was in that damn potions book he had."

"What?!" I scoffed. "Where is he?!"

"Hey," Blaise stopped me from leaving. "Stay with him. You're the only one I know who can stop him from murdering people. And I'm sure Potter is at the top of his list after today. Where have you been by the way?"

"I was... out," I sat in the chair next to Draco's bed. "God... I could have lost him that easily..."

"Hey, are you two..." Blaise pointed a finger from me to Draco and back again. "Are you two really together or is it staged?"

"Um..."

"I know everything," Blaise sighed. "Draco told me everything while he was barely conscious. Don't think he knew what he was saying but he kept saying your name."

"Oh... then uh... no. No, we're not romantically involved..." I took Draco's hand gently. "It's staged so we could ward Harry off."

"For his protection," Blaise nodded. "That's very brave of you. And it's probably not easy either."

"No, it's not," I glanced down at Draco's sleeping face. He sucked in a soft breath and opened his eyes. "Draco? Hey. It's okay. It's me."

"Hazel..." He softly smiled. "Hey..."

"Hey, you," I smiled back. "We have company. So don't go too soft."

"No you don't," Blaise gave my shoulder a pat and left.

"You weren't here..." He mumbled breathlessly. "Where'd you run off to? I was worried."

"They tricked me. Granger and them," I stroked my thumb along the veins in his hand. "I hit my head in Diagon Alley and woke up in the twins' apartment."

"What? Are you okay?" He sat up and placed his hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes. "Did... did you tell them anything?"

"They saw it. My mark. We had a huge fight, Draco, I lost them as friends..."

"Hazel," He deeply sighed. "I'm so sorry. You've had to let go of Harry and now your best friends. This-"

"Don't. You blaming this on yourself is making me feel worse. Please."

"Okay," He sat back with another sigh and rubbed his face. "Hazel I did some thinking. I don't... I don't know what we are but whatever it is... I don't want it to end."

"What... what do you mean?"

"I know you love Potter. And when... if this ends I don't want to take you from him. You two belong together as much as it pains me to say it," He explained. "And I know we can't... won't be able to- to kiss each other or hold hands because right now that's all staged. But this... closeness. I don't want it to end. Even when you're back with Potter."

"Me neither. Draco... you're a completely different person than I first thought you were. The Draco I know now... I could have fallen in love with back then. But now..."

"Now your heart's with Potter. I understand," Draco mumbled. "And I'll be kicking myself for the rest of my life knowing that if only I'd been nicer to you I could have-"

"We all could have done a lot of things," I told him, intertwining my fingers with his. "But it's what we do now that truly matters. Do you feel okay? I need to write this letter to Sirius and I don't know how to word it."

"Hazel," Draco sat up and slipped his hand under my hair to hold the back of my neck gently. "Just... give me this. This one real kiss. So I can shut down my feelings... because they're bubbling back up to the surface and I feel like if I let them take control I'll do something stupid and hurt you."

"Okay," I smiled at him lightly and leaned into him. His lips pressed to mine very gently and he seemed startled by the feeling all of the sudden. His hand on the back of my neck tightened and his breathing grew harder.

I released the kiss and placed my forehead against his. "Draco... I love you... but as friends. Can... tell me we can say that now? I think you deserve it."

His eyes watered but he closed them in a soft scoff.

"Do you know how long it's been since I've heard those three words?" He asked. "Years. I was young the last time I was told that someone loved me."

"Well, Draco," I stroked his cheek to wipe a tear away. "I love you."