tainted transparency || a harry potter story

Chapter Thirty-One: It's Platonic

Fred and I slept on the couch together that night. Well... he slept. My mind was racing a million miles a second. Draco and Harry both on my mind.

I looked across the living room and saw Draco asleep on the window seat, his head turned ever so slightly towards the window.

He has no reason to go back to the Manor. The only person he had there that kept him tied to his childhood home was his mother. He doesn't feel safe there anymore now that she's gone.

Everyone else decided that staying at Grimmauld Place was the best option for everyone's safety. Thankfully there are a seemingly endless amount of guest rooms.

But I need to get my head straight. I don't have feelings for Draco. I don't. I can't and I shouldn't and I don't.

I mean, hell, the reason why Harry is gone right now putting himself in danger like this is because he loves me. He thought I died and left him.

The only reason why I'm not going after him right now is because I need the rest. And I trust my father to keep him safe.

I need to stay laying down. I really do. But I can't sleep. So I stood up and quietly walked across the living room floor to the window where Draco was asleep. I muttered a quick extension charm and made the window seat slightly bigger so I could lie next to him.

I wrapped myself around his side and very tiredly sighed. I laid there for maybe five minutes before he spoke.

"Can't sleep either?"

"Barely."

He turned slightly and hugged me.

"You'll be alright," He whispered softly. "I won't let anyone hurt you anymore."

"Stop blaming yourself," I told him. "You're putting all of this on yourself. None of this is on you."

"My mother's death is."

"She spoke to me," I informed him. At my words he silenced. "Told me to tell you that she loves you. She did what she needed to do to protect you. She knows you're wanting to give up, but that she needs you to keep going. To keep being brave."

He was still quiet, so I tried to look up at him but he pulled me back down to his chest.

"You don't need to see me cry."

I sighed softly. "Draco you can't just give up on life. I know... I know it all looks really bad right now. Hell, I died only hours ago. But this isn't about me. This is about you throwing away the strength we both know you still have."

"I don't have anyone to live for anymore," His voice was shaky. "I can't just pretend my entire world fell to shit."

"I'm not asking you to," I softly scoffed. "No one is telling you to go numb. I'm telling you to be Draco Malfoy, the most relentless and strongest guy I know. You're Draco Malfoy. You can take a few days. Grieving is healthy. But you have to remember to come out of it too. Live because she died so you could."

Draco nodded and just held me. The silence between us was peaceful and calm. Comfortable. I felt his arms tighten around me.

"Live for me," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "Stay for me."

After a while, he spoke again.

"What's got your mind racing?"

"Uh, well," I lightly chuckled. "Something I really shouldn't tell you."

"Nonsense. Honesty."

"Trying to find out where my heart is."

"Let me make it easier for you," He began quietly. "We... you and me... are platonic. We are each other's sanity when I can't be strong and when you find yourself alone. You love Potter, I respect that. I care for you, and he cares for you better than I ever could. I don't want to take that from you."

"Okay," I sighed. "That makes this easier."

"Just knowing you have someone?" Draco nodded. "Yeah..."

"Anything else you need to get off your chest?" I asked him, wiggling a bit to get comfortable in his arms. "I'm tired but I don't want to sleep if you still have things to say."

"Um... n-no. I'm okay. You go ahead and sleep. You need the rest. I'll be here in the morning."

"Okay," I kissed his chest. "I love you, Draco."

He kissed my head firmly. "I love you too, Hazel."

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a/n: had too many people messaging me wanting me to make this into a Draco fanfic. news flash: platonic relationships that aren't serious do exist.

I wrote this chapter specifically to make sure no one else told me I should make it into a Draco book.

stop messaging me what I should turn my book into.