His Red Flags | COMPLETED

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"Why are you here, hmm?" Jaehyun hugged my back while sniffing on my neck. 

Malalim ang iniisip ko habang andito sa veranda ng kwarto namin ni Jaehyun. Habang ang iba ay nagsasaya, ako eto, malalim ang iniisip at malayo ang tingin. 

"Please..Lielle," Pinaharap ako ni Jaehyun. 

I can see the sadness and pain in his eyes more likely to cry. In the past days na bago kami pumuntang Paris ay naging malalim ang usapan namin ni Jaehyun. It's about what I have said to him, it is true though hindi namin alam kung kami ba sa dulo. 

Because I admit it or not, the trauma is still here..right in my fucking chest. 

Hindi sya nawala kahit sandali.

"I don't want to spoil the night," I said and caressed his face as he softly let me caressed it. 

Bakit ko ba nagagawang saktan itong lalaking 'to na walang ibang ginawa kundi ang ipanalo ako ulit? Hindi na sya ang problema, kundi ako. Alam na alam ko 'yan because Jaehyun did nothing but to pursue me again ako naman itong si tanga nagpapadala sa trauma. But can you blame me? 

We better off...as friends.

But I don't even know if that will work dahil sigurado akong magiging mahirap. 

Everyday, as I looked at Jaehyun I realize that I'm not the woman who should end up with him in the future. We are not compatible. He is stable and I'm not. I'm just going to harm him not just mentally but emotionally. Ayon ang ayokong makita sa kanya.

"I love you..I really do," His tears dropped. 

Shit. Eto..eto ang ayaw kong makita, ayaw makita ng dalawang mata ko dahil sobrang sakit na makita syang nasasaktan ng dahil sa akin. 

"I know..I know that, Lielle.." He pressed my hand in his forehead while sobbing and that is too hurtful to see. 

"Alam ko yun pero ang sakit malaman na mahal mo ako but we need to let go each other.." What I have done? 

"We both better g-go..we both let e-each other g-go, Jaehyun," So that we will not harm each other. I don't want our relationship turn into toxic one.

Eto siguro yung pinaka masakit sa break up 'no? Yung maghihiwalay kayo dahil sa ayaw niyong masaktan yung isa't isa. Yung maghihiwalay kayo ng mahal na mahal nyo pa ang isa't isa pero wala kayong magawa dahil kailangan para mag grow kayo pareho. 

Maybe..maybe in 10 years we will find each other again and that time, we are ready for each other. We are ready to commit again. 

"I understand but it hurts," I know. I know it hurts.

"Mahal kita walang pagaalinlangan doon.." Tinignan nya ako mata sa mata "But we need to grow individually, Jaehyun." Malalim syang huminga. 

Kumbinsido na ako. This man, standing right here with me in the middle of the night is truly my love and I will let go of him even if it hurts and hard. 

"Can you do me two favors before we part ways?" I nodded. 

For this man, I'm willing to do anything. 

"Call me mahal for the last time," I smile sweetly to him. I studied his face and stopped in his lips then to his eyes "I'm so proud..that I got to love you not once but twice, Mahal." Ayun ang matagal kong hinihintay he showed his dimples. 

I waited for the last favor. 

Kinabahan ako.

"Be mine for the rest of the night.." He said while hugging me so tight. "Please.." 

Anong gusto nya? Hindi ko alam..nabablangko ako. Wala akong maisip na pwedeng ibig sabihin nya ng 'Be mine again' What? 

"Lielle, before you leave me be mine again.." 

Naintindihan ko ang ibig nyang sabihin when he slowly giving me kisses on my neck. Go and fucking decide, Kennylielle! You should say no! No is the answer!

But my own body betrayed me.

This night is our last night together and we will go and have different flight. After this, hindi ko na makikita si Jaehyun. 

We are fucking messy and we fuck like this will be the last time. Well, it really is. We are moaning mess and positioned ourselves to feel the pleasure more. 

I'm enjoying every thrust he give me, I'm losing my mind when I'm with him and when we were doing it I feel like we are in our own world, fucking nonstop. 

He stopped and laid next to me but he turn his body on and hugged me so tight. 

"I love you.." There's no tears anymore but purely pain. 

"I love you too." He kissed top of my head and looked at me again.

"Get a rest and tomorrow before our flight I will make sure to give you a farewell sex," Tumawa sya when I slightly smacked his chest. 

Walang duda, mahal ko nga ang lalaking ito. 

Yun nga lang, kailangan namin pakawalan ang isa't isa. I'm damaged and I don't want him to suffer too much because of me. This what you call, kapag mahal mo pakawalan mo. At pinapakawalan ko na sya for his good and for me to find myself. 

"I want it rough." Nagulat syang tinignan ako. I giggled and sit on top of him. Fuck I can feel it. 

"But let me ride you tonight, daddy." He bit his lips and I arched my back while I'm slowly entering his on mine.