The Ungodly Hour~Anthony Bridgerton

part II: intoxicating pain

Songs:
ivy- Taylor Swift
Golden Days- Whitney
Icarus- The Crane Wives

The wind eroded the branches of the flowering trees, echoing the comforting percussion of their branches throughout the woodland. To which the birds responded in kind with sweet melody. Caroline was surefooted along the back trails she'd traveled since childhood. Basket in hand, she walked idly through her favorite shortcut towards the only town. To complete the errands her mother requested so fervently. 

"Can it not wait until later, Mother? I did not sleep well last night." Caroline remembered pleading to her mother earlier that morning.

"No, it cannot," her mother replied hastily ripping open the thick curtains allowing the sunlight to stream through her dim bedroom their unwelcome arrival stinging into Caroline's weary eyes. She grumbled throwing the blanket back over her face. "I want you to dress nicely today. That means absolutely under no circumstances will you wear trousers! You will wear and nice and clean dress" her mother whined. 'Clean' emphasized with her overused tone of frustration.

"They were only for riding! You make it seem like I strolled up to the Governor's Ball in them," she scoffed. 

"A lady would learn to ride side-saddle even in a ballgown!" the squat woman snapped back, looking ridiculous being dressed far too early and far too elaborately for a working Vintner's wife. A sour expression on her face to match her daughter's disobedience. 

"Understood mother." Caroline rolled her eyes nestling back into her sheets in defiance. 

"Wake up now Caroline! I've already made your breakfast. Eat it before it gets cold." Her mother turned to leave on her way out calling on her way out 'I love yous' that Caroline couldn't quite hear. 

Ahh yes, her mother's age-old passive-aggressive trick to get her out of bed with the threat of a cold breakfast. Unfortunately, it had always worked. 

Caroline now felt silly wearing such a frilly white dress accented only with a blue bow, just to make her way to the market and back home. But that did not stop her from taking generous time strolling the short trail to town, eager to waste the time of her mother in revenge for disrupting her sleep. 

The golden morning sun kissed her cheeks creating a sense of pure warmth and happiness within her. Allowing her eyes to linger on the blooming cherry trees that were experiencing their last weeks of life before summer. And how they had chosen to make the most of it! Speckling the air, ground, and trees in pink flowers, almost like pastel snow. 

But it was difficult to maintain the fleeting feeling. As it wasn't long before she reached the clearing. The very same from her restless dreams– or nightmares mere hours before. She begged herself to walk forward straight on to the market. But the alluring persuasion of heartbreak controlled her instead.

That all too familiar horrible yet intoxicating pain. It wrapped her whole body in regrets and maybes churning like a whirlpool within her chest drilling that familiar cavern in her heart that never stopped until she felt hollow within every inch of herself. The yearning that gnaws at one from within. Yearning that demands to be obeyed regardless of the age of the scars opened. 

Caroline's heartbeat pounded in agony, hand to her chest as if she'd been shot with a tainted cupid's arrow. She indulged her sorrow, knowing surrendering to her intense emotions was far more rewarding than rejecting them. She closed her eyes letting herself steal one last fantasy among the privacy of the trees. Before finally allowing herself to leave him behind forever.

Her body still remembered his touch, his presence even after all this time. The soft spring wind brushing against her skin mimicked his cool fingertips against her burning hot skin. The sun streamed through the tree canopy in small fractals acting as the warm velvet kisses Anthony would liberally freckle across her face.