When I Stay

04. Duke

Looking down at the message from Reyna telling me where to go, I contemplated actually entering the restaurant.

Did I deserve this? A second chance at happiness?

No. I didn't.

But I was getting ahead of myself. Since when did I think about the future so much? It wasn't like me. I always thought about the present and I screwed the future to hell.

I took a long sigh, gathering up the little courage I had as I grabbed the handle to the restaurant and pulled it open before walking in slowly.

I glanced down at my phone, at the picture of the guy I was meeting. He has dyed hair. I could tell that from the black roots that were sprouting against the dark auburn color. His eyes were a very dark brown, almost black. He was actually pretty cute.

After standing awkwardly for a minute or two, I managed to spot him through the crowded area.

He had on a black turtleneck and black pants, his belt's symbol silver. He had a dangling earring in the shape of a cross.

Okay, he got points for how he dressed, not gonna lie.

I tucked my phone into the pocket of my mom jeans and then approached him slowly.

He peered up, and after a second of analyzing my face, probably to see if I was who he was waiting for, he gave me a small smile and stood to shake my hand.

"Jennifer, right?" Oh, I was going to kill Reyna and Cam, or whoever told him one of my names. Though my dad often called me Jenny, yes, my very full second name was Jennifer. God, what a stupid name. Juliette Jennifer Katherine Ashton.

"You can just call me JJ," I say, forcing a small smile.

"Duke." I shook his hand briefly before both of us dropped our arms and sat across from one another in the small booth.

It was a dining restaurant, but it wasn't anything fancy. So what was this guy dressing for? Or was he just like that because he wanted to?

After we ordered, he started striking up a conversation.

"Where are you from?"

I took a sip of my sprite before answering. "Well, I've moved a lot of places," I say, not really knowing which state I've been to would have been my home.

"Oh, are you an army brat?"

I smiled a little as I shook my head. "In all honesty, I would get into a lot of trouble and so we would have to move a bunch. My dad lives in Tennessee, so I would say there, I guess."

He leaned forward as he rested his elbows on the wooden table. "I've pretty much only been here and Korea. Since my mother's from Korea, I lived there for a long time until I moved here with my dad."

I was grateful he didn't press me for more about the trouble I got into. But, I was sad, too, that I was too ashamed to talk about my past. Luckily, he was pretty open about his.

"Do you go to school around here?" I ask, twirling my straw around in my drink slowly.

"I'm not in school. I work for an art gallery."

"Shit," I swore out loud. I didn't mean to assume. I also didn't mean to curse. My eyes widened as I cupped my mouth. He seemed way too classy for me to casually cuss at him. "Sorry."

But when I looked at his face, he laughed loudly. "You don't need to be so tense. Don't hold yourself back, either."

"Do you like art, or art history?"

"History," Duke answers, twirling his straw in his drink. "It's not like I like it. I just preferred not to to college and it was a career I was able to swing."

"Then what do you like?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Gaming. All I've ever wanted to do was to just create my own game." He sighed. "But without money or a college degree, it's just a dream. Not a realistic goal."

That was understandable. I was going into architecture, but I never really knew if I actually wanted a career regarding that.

Hell, I loved fashion, organization, design, and layouts. But would it make me happy for my whole life?

"Hey," he says, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I can tell you're not really in to all this..."

"Oh-"

"It's okay," he interrupts. "If you would like to leave, I would understand. Cameron kind of pushed me here, too."

I sighed heavily. "He did?" I groaned. "I'm sorry. Just— my friends think I'm going through a tough time and I'm really just—"

"Fine?"

I blinked, looking away awkwardly. "...Yeah."

"I used to say that, too." He strummed his finger don the table once. "Who was he?" He paused. "Or her. Or them. I don't judge."

I chuckled at his acceptance. "They were two different people. Polar opposites. But both of them filled me with joy. A joy I can't replace, no matter how hard I try." I looked back at him, interlacing my fingers together on top of the table. "Who was she?" I smirked. "Or him. Or them. I don't judge," I repeated.

"She was... not the one," he admitted. "But I'm grateful, despite how much trouble we have now."

"Grateful?" I asked. How could he be grateful for trouble?

"I do not love my ex-girlfriend anymore. But I do love our daughter. Very much."

Oh, shit. He has a daughter? He saw my wide eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, I know I'm young. And I know I probably shouldn't go on blind dates when I have a child, but I would like to be honest with you. And I don't think either of us are thinking of each other romantically."

He had a point. I was not interested in him in that way, and I had the feeling he felt the same.

"Thank you. For being honest, I mean. That's one trait I envy."