Other Worlds - The Wilds

Chapter 13

  The days that followed were weird. Weird with the school, with Regan, at home and with Shelby.

  She plead her case with the principal and told him exactly what happened. She could only pray that he would believe her. He didn't. She wasn't punished though, only given a bunch of pamphlets on teen mental health and sexuality, as though she was the one uncomfortable with her sexual orientation, not the members of the Jesus club. After a long 'we just want to help you' speech, Toni walked out of the office, dumped the pamphlets in the trash and slowly made her way to her next class. Which happened to be the one she was dreading the most.

  Toni smiled and waved at Regan when she walked in the class but she didn't see her.

  The first words out of Shelby's mouth, when she took her seat next to her, were, "So I heard you beat up my boyfriend."

  Really? That was it? Of course Shelby would automatically take an aggressive stance, anything to protect that sleazy boyfriend.

  "What? He still crying over his boo-boo?" Toni snarled sarcastically.

  "There's a mark. And you can't say anything, you attacked him unprovoked and he didn't defend himself because he didn't want to hit a girl." Shelby's words said one thing her her face was full of doubt. Almost as though she was hoping that Toni could confirm that claim.

  A wave of guilt washed over her. Or sympathy? Whatever it was Toni didn't realise she was even able to feel it for Shelby. She didn't care whether it was her business or not at this point, Shelby needed to accept that Andrew was an absolute asshole; and Toni was going to be the one to tell her. "Oh, is that what he told you? Well my throbbing ribs say otherwise."

   Shelby sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them her eyes flared with indignation, "Show me then."

  Toni's face went hot; she couldn't tear her eyes away from Shelby's, and the passion they briefly held.

  Luckily before Toni could think about the exchange further, Mr Winters barged into the classroom, breathless and fumbling with the stack of papers in his arms. Shelby flinched back as through she had been electrocuted, seemingly having forgotten that they were in school.

  With one last glance at Toni, Shelby snarled, "I don't believe you."

  Toni smirked and looked towards the front of the room. She didn't give Shelby the satisfaction of an answer. From the breathlessness of her tone, the shakiness in her voice and the uncertainty coating every word; Toni knew she had won that battle.

  Strangely, despite having made Shelby doubt the good nature of her God loving, woman respecting, celibate boyfriend, Toni still felt the guilt from earlier, or sympathy or whatever it was. Why had she gotten involved?

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  Regan was the next issue. She had spent all day thinking about Shelby that it gave her a shock to see Regan waiting outside her last class. Seeing her brought back the whole fight that she had almost forgotten happened. Namely, she remembered Andrew's comment.

Regan didn't kiss her, even though Toni leaned in for one. Instead she just grabbed Toni by the arm and practically dragged her to the car.

  Toni tried to laugh it off as Regan, in essence, stuffed her into the car. "Okay, so I guess you're giving me a lift today."

  Regan slammed the door, shutting them in, and rested her forehead of the steering wheel.

  The whole situation was making Toni nervous now. Finally, after what felt like hours of nail picking, hand wringing and leg bouncing, Regan spoke, "I think I know why you lost your temper," she started, sighing, "But why did you pick the fight in the first place? Why Andrew?"

  Toni felt as though she couldn't open her mouth, let alone speak.

  She waited for Toni to reply and eventually gave up waiting. "Was it because of Shelby?"

  "Yes" Toni answered, the word flying out of her mouth before her brain had the chance to process it. Toni panicked, hoping that Regan didn't get the wrong impression from that. She scrambled for a way to backtrack. "No! Well- Partly yes, but no. It is because Andrew is just such a dick, and Shelby is just involved in that."

  "So you were protecting her?"

  Toni was feeling attacked now. "Regan- No! He was pissing me off in class, I-" Toni groaned in frustration, "I started it because he is just constantly awful, but it got physical because of you. I was defending you. Anyway, why do you keep bringing Shelby up, she has nothing to do with this." Toni felt defensive, all of the protective measures she had developed over the years to stop her getting hurt tried to rush into place; but she was not going to let herself ruin this.

  "You are the one always bringing her up! Always saying what an asshole Andrew is for cheating on her."

  "I swear I don't actually care! It's just an observation, he's an dick. I don't care about Shelby, whatever, she wants to be with a prick like that? Fuck her."

  "I once wanted to be with a prick like that." Regan's voice was thick and a small tear trailed down her cheek. Fuck, She had made her cry. God, I'm just as bad as Andrew. She slammed her fist against her knee, struggling to keep the torrent of emotions contained.

  "Regan, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean you..." Toni trailed off and stuffed her hands in her pockets. Her walls started popping up, one by one until she hardly felt anything at all anymore.

  Regan sniffed loudly and started right at Toni. "I know what you meant. I also know the way Shelby looks at you. I see the way you two act together every day in science class-"

  Toni cut her off, "Oh please, Shelby is straight."

  "That is so beside the point Toni. It isn't about whether she is straight or otherwise, it is about you."

  "I don't understand?"

  "I don't care whether Shelby gay! I care that you wish she was."

  Toni was stunned into silence. Apparently Regan didn't know her as well as she thought she did because that was not true. And it didn't matter if it was anyway because Shelby was straight. Toni's brain short-circuited and she said the worst possible thing, "But Shelby's straight."

  Regan nodded sadly and looked at Toni almost sympathetically, "And that is your problem now." She leaned over and gave Toni a soft kiss on the cheek, the wetness of her tears reaching Toni's lips. "Please get out of my car." She said softly, not looking at Toni again after she pulled away.

  Walking home in the snow, Toni ran over every stupid thing she'd said in the last 10 hours in her mind. Thoughts entering her head like a radio station caught between two channels. Obviously she would ruin something good by saying stupid shit about someone she hated. But did she hate Shelby? Maybe not as much anymore but that certainly did not mean that she thought she was beautiful and wanted to kiss her like Regan was implying. Had Regan implied that?

  She buried her face in her hands, muffling the sound of her frustrated shouts. She felt so confused, This was Regan fault. Putting these crazy ideas in her head and now she couldn't get them out because they were so absurd. She just had to forget about Shelby Goodkind and talk to Regan. She could straighten this out, she needed to. Regan was Toni's chance to be with someone that understood her, challenged her, made her a better-

  Fuck, Why was she thinking about Shelby again?