Chapter 44

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Almost there guys! It really has been so much fun working on this, can't believe I'm nearly done. This chapter is from Shelby's POV. Love to all!! Hope you are all doing well! Thanks again for all of the support. You are all beautiful people, it is sometimes hard to comprehend the joy we bring to other people's lives and I just wanted to let you know that you bring a lot of joy to mine. 
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  Shelby was trashed. And all she wanted was Toni. At least she had her phone.

  She scrolled clumsily through her contacts and landed on a familiar number, one she'd had to memorise instead of just replacing it with a name. It hadn't taken her long to memorise the number. Shelby never told Toni because she thought it would make her seem like a loser but she spent hours writing it down and learning it in one night. She'd pretended that it took her a few days.

  It took all of her concentration to write out a message.

Shelby: Toni, what are you doing?

  Looked right to her. She sent it.

  After a few minutes of silence she decided to send another one. Just for good measure. Not bothering to proofread it this time.

Shelby: Come here

  It was a little forceful, Shelby decided, mere seconds after it had been sent. Maybe Toni was pissed at her? That's why she wasn't replying. She had to fix it.

Shelby: I fucked up

  And a few seconds later, her thumbs tapped the screen again with little interference from her brain.

Shelby: I love you

  Shelby nodded, feeling satisfied with her efforts. She didn't even notice the questioning looks she was receiving from her friends at the party.

  Becca had suggested it. A small gathering just to lighten up a little, try and regain a little normality in her life after Shelby had been in bed for a full day.

  Her dad had started to get suspicious about her behaviour. When he'd entered her room and perched on the edge of the bed with concern contorting his face, Shelby had just said, "There was a boy but it didn't work out." It wasn't necessarily a lie. There had been a boy. A year ago.

  "Shelby, there are plenty of fish in the sea, your first love is never going to be your last."

  Sure, Shelby thought bitterly, not if you have anything to do with it.

  Later that day, Becca came over with suggestions for a small 'gathering'. Shelby's dad had approved this idea, hoping that Shelby would maybe find a nice boy from Bible Club. Becca didn't correct him that it wouldn't be that kind of gathering.

  Shelby felt guilty for not telling Toni that Becca had recently come back to school and had gotten back in touch with Shelby a few months ago. She didn't know if Toni would approve and it was really helping Shelby being around her, someone who had the same experiences as her.

  Becca was also patient when Shelby cried to her about the situation with Toni. The parts that she could talk about, that it. She would never tell Becca about Toni's past or Carol, or her head injury. Nothing like that. Just normal drama.

  It was also kind of nice to have some sort of a life outside of Toni. But looking back she didn't really want anything without Toni and she couldn't even imagine how she could have ever felt that way.

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