Other Worlds - The Wilds

Chapter 22

AN: Hey guys! Thanks for all the comments and music recommendations. My playlist is about 10 songs longer now.

TW: The usual abuse mentions, Alcoholism. This one's pretty Carol centric.

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  Every fucking good thing always has to be overshadowed by another shitty thing, Toni thought to herself as she tried to swallow down the fear building up inside of her. Carol was trashed, that much was obvious. It didn't seem like she was high though. Whether or not that would work in Toni's favour was a different question.

  "Sorry Carol. I was out with Shelby working on this assignment, It's due in two weeks," Toni said, trying desperately to keep her voice steady.

  Carol tried to stand up from her spot on the couch but toppled right back over into the position she was in before. She straightened up slightly. "Just..." She waved vaguely at the cigarettes and the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table. Toni leapt into action and passed them to Carol who took a large swig of out of the bottle and slurred, "You're a liar Toni. It's okay though... I know liars, I- you and me-" She burped lightly and pointed at Toni with her cigarette, "-we are cut from the same cloth kid."

  "I am nothing like you," Toni muttered under her breath without thinking. Her eyes shot to Carol's looking for any indication that she had heard her comment, but couldn't find any. A shiver of relief ran through her. It wasn't as though Carol was in any sort of position to do anything to her or even remember this tomorrow morning, but the panic still overtook her body, almost as if on autopilot. Once the fear died down slightly, anger rose to the surface. Like it always did. But this time, there was a layer of doubt underneath, a voice telling her that maybe what Carol was saying held some weight.

  Toni gaze flitted around the room, standing awkwardly as Carol alternated between the cigarette in her right hand and the whisky in her left. She took a few hesitant steps towards her room before Carol noticed her again. "Hey! Where do you think your going?"

  Toni froze. She wasn't paralysed with fear the way she normally would be if Carol was just high and capable of standing up, but she was still walking on eggshells. "Um... I was just going to my room?" she stuttered.

  "My room," Carol replied, an air of threat in her tone.

  "Of course. Yeah, your room sorry."

  "You forget that I fucking own this house. This is not your house, I am not your mother and none-" She gestured at the house, whisky sloshing around in the bottle at the motion. "-of this is yours. Nothing is."

  Even though she didn't want any of it, Carol's words served as a bitter reminder that she really was alone in this. In life. She could fit every one of her possessions in a bin bag with room to spare. She had no money, no family, no home and, based on all that, probably no real future. She told herself that she had Martha, her friends; and it kept her afloat but the truth was becoming increasing blatant and hard to ignore. The truth that she didn't really matter.

  I don't matter.

  "Yeah, I know," Toni agreed.

  I don't fucking matter.

  Carol patted the spot next to her on the sofa, her eyes closed. "Come here I wanna talk to you." The words tumbled out of her mouth with hardly any break between them. Once Toni worked out what she said, she begrudgingly made her way over to the seating area, choosing to sit in the small armchair opposite to the couch rather than next to Carol. The intoxicated woman did not notice at all.