the couple next door ||knj||

14

I stayed in that same spot on the boardwalk for a while. I didn't move at all. Not even to shift my weight, I just stayed in the same position, leaning on the bare wood staring at the ocean. I didn't know what to do with my life. I was confused, scared even. Of what I didn't fully know.

I didn't move until someone came and tapped on my shoulder telling me that the boardwalk was closing. I walked back to my room alone. Tears in my eyes but I didn't know what for. I couldn't tell if it was because of my dead dog, my parents aging, or if it was because of Namjoon.

I tried so hard to keep him off my mind. I came to the beach to get away from those thoughts but they consumed me. Even after the boardwalk I laid on my bed staring at my ceiling for hours thinking about all that had led to this solemn moment in my life. I thought of what I could have done to prevent it. There was so much I could have done, but I didn't. And I didn't know why.

I finally moved to look at the clock and I noticed it was 2 o'clock in the morning and I hadn't eaten since early that afternoon. I looked for places that were open for 24 hours just so I could satisfy my hunger. The only place in the small town that stayed open was a small Chinese restaurant. I got up from bed, threw on my jacket, grabbed my bag, and headed out the door. I walked for about 10 minutes until I approached the small restaurant. It had a half burnt out sign saying, "Jade's Chinese Restaurant" except the J,C, I, S, and U were burnt out so it read, "ade's hnese retarant" not very appetizing if you ask me, but I headed in anyway.

A tired looking older lady took my order, I took a seat in a booth in the middle of the restaurant, They had torn green seats with orange wood tables. It was just the older lady, the cook, and I in the restaurant. I could hear clatter in the back as they prepared my food and I also heard the soft sounds of a radio playing the hit pop songs in the distance. The air was cold and stiff, I shivered as I looked out of the window to see the lit up gas station across the street. I watched at least two random people go into and out of the store and walk down the street disappearing into darkness.

The older lady woke me from my daze as she brought me my food. I watched her go into the back, sitting in a small chair in the kitchen. I began eating my food, I quickly finished, paid for my food and left.

It was almost somber knowing I would probably never see that woman ever again and I didn't even catch her name. I like to remember people.

I walked down the pavement looking at the small cracks in them, memorizing each one, hoping that if I ever came back that I would remember my steps and this moment. I had no music playing throughout my head like I normally did. It was bitter silence. No cars on the road, no daylight, eerie to say the least.

I made my way back into my room and threw myself onto the bed. I didn't bother taking my clothes off before I fell asleep.

I had many dreams, each one was about Namjoon.