All the First Pages

Chapter 1

I feel like shit.

I sat on the balcony of our hotel, my legs dangling off the side through the railing. It was nearly four in the morning, and I couldn't sleep. This isn't like me, I'm Andrew, I shouldn't be the one moping around, staying up till four. That's usually Nate's specialty. As for the cussing, that's mostly Jack's calling. But I don't even care anymore. They noticed my mood, Nate and Jack. They tried talking to me, but I just wouldn't. I feel bad for acting this way towards them, I'm just in such a down mood.

Today was the last day of our tour, so we all get to go home for a few months. But of course, Rachel wants to see Nate and her family, so Nate's hitching a ride with Jack to New Jersey, and me? Well, I'm going back to Michigan. So yes, they're unintentionally isolating me, again. I understand though, I really do. Nate is dating Rachel, why shouldn't they be together with her family? Although, it still doesn't feel any better, even with my understanding. I've been feeling left out lately, surprisingly, with our fans. Don't get me wrong I love them to pieces, it's just... Well...

Our band, Fun., is the child of three different previous bands. Nate's was The Format, Jack's was Steel Train, and mine was Anathallo. But you see, when I'm on tumblr and whatnot, I see our fans' blogs, they all seem to enjoy The Format's music and Steel Train's music, but I never come across much love for Anathallo. And yes, they all do love Fun., but it hurts, you know? I just feel the least loved.

The only good thing about Michigan right now is my family. But just my family, not Jill anymore. We divorced. It wasn't hard at all, we just felt differently. Not to mention, she started to feel for someone else. A month or so after our divorce, she was proposed to by some stocky, tall guy. She invited me to the wedding, but I said no.

Jack and Nate's plane was leaving at nine in the morning tomorrow, or, today rather. I should get some sleep while I can. I sighed and slumped to the couch inside, not even bothering to change. I was asleep in a matter of minutes.