Love Me for Who I am - TwoSet Violin fanfic

Chapter 1

Falling in love with your best friend could both be the best and worst thing you could experience. At least that's how I would describe it. The question is not how or why I have fallen, rather why would I not fall. 

Eddy Chen simply was beautiful in all aspects and angles. It's simply not physical or emotional connections that drew me to him but rather just him. 

Him... 

How could I describe him? The man that simply made me believe in the beauty and pain of love. I never really thought that it could be felt at the same time. Beauty and pain, he is all that. 

Edward Chen was no ordinary man. He is the sun that rises on my east that brings me warmth every morning that I wake up alone and cold, only to be embraced by the heat of his rays. He is the sun that sets on my west, the one who engulfs me in darkness and the beauty of it. He is my moon that has phases, changing from time to time but the only thing that remains is the fact that he is always there.

He is the music of my life. The one I think of when I play the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto. The opening lines the mourning of a lover that simply cannot be mine. Sometimes, he is also the opening of the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto, the only difference now is that it's a serenade of your lover that you have had in your arms for years. 

He is the art in my museums. Ones where I spent most of my time building and creating, the tears, blood and everything in between was him. He is simply every artform that I can think of. The pas de deux of every ballet, the exposition of every story, the endings of my novel and the talk of my poems.

He is all this and I am afraid that I'm just a mere spectator in his life.

I'm afraid that the boy my world revolves around, treats me as if I do not exist in his world. That the most beautiful person in my eyes only sees me as a blur, something ordinary and plain.

I never entertained the idea of fate when I was young, but that all changed when I met Eddy. I never asked Eddy if he did believe in it himself, maybe he did. He is the type of guy that does. Right now, I could only hope that destiny found a path for us. I could mutter a thousand prayers to the world to help him find me back every time he strays away from me. Let fate take the wheel on my, and hopefully soon, our journey.

I couldn't do anything about it, no matter how much I tried. I really shouldn't. I fell in love with my best friend. The same best friend that only saw me as what I am for his eyes, a best friend, a brother and nothing more. The best friend that always had my back, and unknowingly had my heart, my soul, my blood and my tears.

He already had me before I even had the time to consent to my feelings. Taking it all in is oh, so painful. Oh, so painful but it's the type of pain you feel after stretching your body. The type of pain that you know would be fine when you get used to it. 

It’s also the type of pain that's like a thorn that you cannot remove. The one that you learn to live with in the hopes that you'd be numb or at least even get used to. 

Because it is simple, the pain just blooms. The pain is a never-ending spring. 

His touches, the breath of his skin, and the warmth of his hands; these things are the everlasting summer. 

The way I fall every single time, over and over again, without fail. That's the autumn that never leaves.

As for the winter that never turns to spring? It's the fact that he will never love me the same way I love him. The cold is his apathy towards anything related to love. I could feel that winter more than he could feel my love for him.