You were always known to be ruthless. You had grown up in an environment that looked down on sensitive people so you, much like everyone else in the estate, had learned to mask your emotions. There was no point in mercy when the person being spared wouldn't learn their lesson. You were a royal which meant that everyone had high standards for you, every little thing you did was watched my several eyes. You carried yourself with grace, making sure to never take your family's name down, even after death. You were close to two guards, they were the only ones you managed to let loose with, their names being Xie bi'an and Fan Wuiji however life didn't go your way and one thing lead to another. You jewelry swung, letting out quiet jingling as you walked through the halls.
Naive.
All of the survivors were naive. Did they really believe the could get out of the manor? Walking away with more money than they could need? Ridiculous. You 'hated' doing so but breaking the survivors out of their little dream of escaping with a free ticket to a happy life was what you did every match. You let out a hum as you made it to the matching room. Sitting on the old velvet chair while watching four poor souls walk straight to their doom gave you mixed feelings. You made yourself comfortable, preparing to hear the cries of the survivors.
-----time skip because lazy------
"Y/n is so ruthless....."
"They seems so lovely...shame their personality isn't the kindest"
Their whispers wouldn't stop. Judging everything about you. It made you want to shrink, change yourself, make yourself more likeable.
'Really Y/N? Giving in so easily? What a disgrace to the family. We raised you better than this.' A familiar voice in your head said, making you nod. You couldn't let them tear down years of harsh teachings with a couple simple words.
"L/n-san...?" A certain soft voice said. 'Michiko' you thought to yourself with a smile. You enjoyed the geisha's company as she was always so gentle and polite. There was nothing you could hate or even slightly dislike about the Japanese woman, she was just perfect. A perfect balance of ruthless yet merciful, beauty yet a burning rage within, something you could never be.
"Yes, Michiko?" You responded turning behind you to look at her pitch black eyes.
"Ah I just wanted to ask if you were alright....you seem rather aggravated....." she looked the side, shying away from your unintentionally cold gaze.
"I'm fine. I appreciate the concern but there is nothing wrong. Good day." You sternly replied, turning back and continuing to walk to your room completely unaware of what was happening after your exchange with the geisha.
"Do you guys see? I don't think they are the same one......" Michiko muttered, shaking her head in disapproval at the two chinese men before her.
"Well it's too much of a coincidence, no? They share the same face, same name, same hobbies and even the same status. Maybe they do recognize Fan and I but refuse to speak..." Xie sighed, letting out a small smile while his brother, Fan, groaned.
"Well clearly they aren't saying anything. We should just give up" Fan mumbled, tired of his sworn-brother's need to see if Y/n was the same one they had lost long ago. If they were then they had changed.....such a carefree soul turned so cold.....Fan didn't even want to think about it. Yes, people changed but someone to change that drastically?
----------Time skip again lol---------
You sat in your room, pen in hand as you wrote away at the paper about your dislikes, wants, needs and everything of that sort. If you couldn't talk to anyone you might as well get it out through writing to avoid your emotions becoming to overbearing. Deep in thought you failed to notice the knocking at the door.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" A soft voice said, worried clear in the speakers voice. After a couple minutes the door opened, making you jump and face whoever had entered your room. There stood the white guard, looking at you, his eyes scrunched in clear concern. He walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder, snapping you out of your trance.
"...Yes I'm fine. You can see your way out now." You responded coldly, covering your writing with your arms. Xie's eyebrows furrowed, clearly doubting your statement.
"Please tell me the truth......" he softly muttered, playing with the buyao delicately intertwined in your hair.
"Look Xie I don't know what you or your sworn-brother are trying to do but stop it. I know you both knew me before. When I was softer, when I was weaker.....but guess what? It's not like that anymore. I'm not some damsel in distress. Now leave me alone!" You angrily retorted, clearly frustrated in Xie and Fan's relentlessness. Speaking of which, the white guard's other half had been walking down the halfway when he had heard you which peaked his curiosity. Of course he was the least bit suprised seeing you and Xie arguing. You had failed to realize the other guard's presence but Xie realized immediately and urged him to come over with a tilt of his head. Before you realized both guards were there, looking at you, wondering what had happened for you to change so much.
"Y/n look is it something we did that made you turn so cold?" Fan's much more gruff voice spoke up.
You awkwardly shook your head 'no' knowing well the two wouldn't leave until you told them how your family forced you to mature at a young age and how upset they were when they found out you were a lot more carefree with Xie and Fan.
"Then want happened..? Please it's painful seeing you be so merciless...." Xie softly whispered. You took a deep breath and explained what happened behind the closed palace doors. The arguing, the occasional violence, the ideal that you had to be perfect. Xie and Fan listened intently, shocked at how much you had hid from them. Once you had finished, Xie hugged you tightly, muttering words in Mandarin while Fan just stared. You pouted and awkwardly hugged Xie back.
"So does that mean you'll stop being so cold torwards survivors?" Xie questioned
You hummed
"Probably not but we'll see"
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Omg I'm alive???? Who could've guessed????? Anyways sup I have nothing to say. I promise I'll actually get request done. I kind of want to write a fanfic for another fandom but I'm not sure which one. Maybe I'll go with genshin or indulge myself in the manga only black butler characters Anyways take some Edgar x Mike fanart I drew a while back
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