Hope Shepherd

A Revelation

POV Hope: I was emotionally drained and feeling like not doing anything. After mom ordered some pizza we ate in silence. I stared at the floor. I asked to leave the table and I got ready for bed. I got in the shower letting the water run down my back. I looked at the unhealed bruises on my thighs and the water made them sting. They were at different stages of healing, some were purple and others were more green. My mind shot back to when the bruises were made, stress built up inside me. I felt like I was going to burst. I started to hyperventilate. I turned off the shower while gasping for air. I crouched down to the floor and put my head between my knees and tried to focus on the navy blue shower mat.

POV Amelia: The noise upstairs stopped for a bit and I went upstairs to check on Hope. She wasn't in her room so I leaned against the bathroom door. "Hey Hope! Are you okay?" I called out. I waited a few seconds with no response. "If you don't say anything after I count to three I'm coming in!" I yelled into the door. I counted loudly and got no response. I quickly but gently opened the door to find Hope naked, on the floor with her head between her legs. I rushed over grabbing a towel and wrapping it over her body. I pulled her up onto my lap, rocking her. I hadn't seen what he'd done to her, and I was shocked at the extent of her bruises. No wonder she was wearing baggy clothes all the time. I hugged her close until she calmed down. "Are you alright now?" I asked rubbing her shoulder. "yes I'm fine," she replied holding up her wall. "Do you want to talk about it?"I pressed. "Um nope," she said quickly, undoubtedly embarrassed. I decided to let it go and not put anymore pressure on her today. "Okay, well I'll check on you later okay?" I informed her getting up to leave her alone.

I walked back downstairs to Owen who was finishing up the dishes. "Hey what happened?" he asked worriedly. I rubbed my forehead trying to relieve some of the tension, "Hope had a panic attack." I sighed out loud as I worried about her. "Is she okay?" he questioned. "I think she'll be fine but there's just seems to be so much on her mind. I'm afraid if she doesn't let it out she'll eventually lash out," I admitted. He nodded, and walked over to give me a hug, "and how are you doing? You've been so worried about Hope, have you stopped to think about what happened to you?" I stood in silence and Owen beckoned me to the couch. We sat down and I started to run the situation through my head. I felt my own breath quicken seeing his face in my head. He beat me, he gave me drugs, and he screamed at me. It was like all the things I didn't allow myself to feel crashed over me. "He hurt me too," I whispered to myself. It felt so real now. I started sobbing and I put my face into my hands. Owen pulled me into his arms, "It's okay, your safe now," he said reassuringly. I gripped onto his shirt.

POV Owen: I let Amelia get her sobs out. I knew from experience what panic attacks and PTSD felt like, and I wish my girls didn't have to go through it. You feel like your trapped in your body or a nightmare and it really sucks. But if I've learned anything from it is that you need to face it head on sooner than later. I was doing my best to be the calm one hoping it would help them. Amelia started to quiet down. "I love you," I said. "I love you too," she answered. Amelia pulled herself up, wiping her face, "I'm going to go check up on our daughter now." "Alright, call me if you need anything," I replied.

POV Hope: I put on my grey sweatpants and over sized shirt that I sleep in and lie in bed for a couple minutes staring at the ceiling. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep my tears from flowing down my face. I couldn't keep away the thoughts of Omar flowing through my head. My heart started to quicken and I felt as if someone was choking me... but no one was there. I gasped for air trying to keep myself calm trying not to think about him. He's already taken too much from me, I shouldn't let him take my mind too. "Hope? Are you okay?" Amelia asked standing in the doorway. "Can you come here?" I whispered. She nodded stepping towards my bed. I reached my arms out and she got into my bed to hold me. She rocked me till my breath was steady. "What happened just now?" she questioned. "I think I had a mini panic attack but I think I got it under control," I replied. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I think I realized that he doesn't have to take over my head too," I explained hoping she wouldn't make me talk more about it. She smiled, "I'm glad you've realized that." She pulled the hair off my face. We laid together for a few minutes. "Mom? Can you stay here with me tonight?" I asked shyly. "Yes of course honey," she replied gently. She wrapped her arms around me and I fell to sleep.
POV Owen: I walked upstairs to check on Amelia and Hope to find them both asleep in Hope's bed. I turned off the light and kissed their foreheads. I closed the door and headed to bed myself.

"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."
- Laurell K. Hamilton