Hope Shepherd

Growing Up

POV Hope: Today was another day where we were in the hospital. Both Amelia and Owen are back to work full time leaving me to find a place to do school. I didn't want to go back to the attending's lounge so I headed to the peds floor. "Hey Hope!" I was greeted by a smiling Arizona. "Good morning," I grinned heading over to her. "What brings you here today?" she asked. "Well I was wondering if I could do my work in the playroom?" I asked hopefully. "Yeah absolutely! As long as you're not bothered by curious children," she replied. I laughed, "you know I love little kids." "Well I gotta head back to work, see you around later," she said. "Okay, bye!"

I walked over to the playroom which was empty at the time because it was relatively early in the morning. I showed the nurse my volunteer card, but they already knew me anyway. "Good morning Hope, nice seeing you here," she said. "Nice to see you too Nurse Debbie (pictured above)," I smiled doing my best to be as polite as possible. "Hope, you're a sweet girl much nicer than some of those new doctors if you know what I mean," she smirked. I nodded in agreement. "Here have a cupcake," Nurse Debbie handed me a chocolate cupcake with white frosting and a strawberry on top. Score! "Aw you didn't have to, thank you so much!" I gushed. "It's no problem honey, now go do your schoolwork." I nodded walking into the room and over to a beanbag chair in the corner.

I checked my phone while eating the cupcake seeing texts from Amelia and Kelsie.

Kelsie 

Kelsie: Hey watcha doin today?

Me: Just at the hospital doing my schoolwork. I scored a cupcake tho!

Amelia

Amelia: How are you doing? did you find a good place to work?

Me: Yep! I'm on the peds floor and Nurse Debbie gave me a cupcake

Amelia: Did you thank her?

Me: Yes of course mom

Amelia: good girl. Love you from mom and dad xx

Me: Love you both too!

I plugged my earbuds into my laptop and started my Spanish lesson for the day. I always started with my least favorite class. An hour later a wave a pain crashed over my belly. I figured maybe I was just hungry so I headed to the nearest attending's lounge to find a bagel. I started to eat the bagel as I headed back, but then I felt nausea creep up on me. I rushed to the bathroom dry gagging against the toilet. I breathed deeply trying to get some air while throwing my hair up. I pulled down my pants to go the bathroom but then I saw red in my underwear. "Oh my god!" I whispered in panic. I quickly pulled my pants back up and rushed to find Arizona.

"Arizona!" I whispered loudly clutching myself. "What? What is it!?" she asked concerned. "Uh I think something is wrong, I have nausea, pain, and I'm bleeding... internally I think," I said quietly but rushed. "Woah slow down, where are you bleeding?" she asked. I shifted on my feet, "um like.. down there." I glanced my eyes down and back up. I started to panic, I didn't want to have to endure another invasive exam again. "Okay Hope, calm down you're fine this is totally normal. Follow me," she said calmly leading me to the bathroom in the attending's lounge. "What's happening to me," I asked nearly crying. "Honey, you got your first period," she said slowly. "Wait what?!" I exclaimed. My brain rewinded and then skipped like a scratched cd. "I'm going to page Amelia okay? Just try to stay calm," she said in a soothing voice. She placed a hand on my back but I automatically jerked away. "I'm sorry," she said. "No it's not your fault," I said looking down. I don't know why this is freaking me out so much, I expected it on some level, but I went so long not having it being a late bloomer that I just forgot...

The door flew open. "What? Are you okay? What's happening?!" Amelia ran over to me. "Arizona?" she asked expectantly. "Okay both of you need to chill out, Hope got her first period," she explained. Amelia breathed a sigh of relief. "So now that you both are here you can have your mother daughter moment, uh here is some stuff," she pulled out pads and tampons out of her giant coat pocket. "I'm really sorry I can't stay longer, but I have to run I'm being paged." Arizona flew out of the room leaving me with Amelia.

I walked into the stall and sat down on the toilet. "Can I come in?" Amelia asked. "Yeah," I said in a small voice. She closed the door behind her and squatted down in front of me. "Today is a big day for you princess," she spoke. She opened up your bag which you still had with you and found your spare change of clothes. She pulled out the underwear and explained how to use a pad on it, "So you just stick the wings over the side." Amelia turned around letting me get changed.

When I tapped her shoulder signaling I was all done she opened her arms. I accepted and wrapped my arms around her waist. "It's okay you can cry," she said. Which hit something deep inside of me, I let the tears roll down my face onto her scrubs. "Let's go to the couch okay?" She said softly.

Amelia laid down first and opened her coat as of it her a blanket. I crawled in and snuggled up against her. Her hand reached down to my abdomen and rubbed slow circles. She used her other hand to wipe the tears off my face. "Why is this bothering you so much?" She asked gently. "I don't know.. I guess I just though I was bleeding because of something he did to me," I whispered really quietly. Amelia squeezed me tight, "you're safe now, here with me." I heard he doorknob click and open and I quickly turned around and hid my face in Amelia's scrubs. I heard Jo's voice, "hey what's going on?" "Hope got her first period," Amelia explained. "Ew gross, I mean wow it's a big day," Jo said. I couldn't help but let out a giggle. "Oh I see someone knows I'm here," she said. I flipped around to face her. She thankfully had no reaction to my tear stained face. "Well, hope you feel better," she smiled before grabbing a bagel and getting to work. "You know what I'm going to get Koracick to cover me today and tomorrow. I'll get to spend time just the two of us." "Really?!," I looked up at her, "but Koracick doesn't owe you any favors." "Yea but I know he has a soft spot for you," she smiled hugging me.