the girl on the roof

Chapter 13- all roads lead back

I ran up the stair to the empty rooftop screaming at the top of my lungs needing to release everything that was pent up over the last few weeks.

And screaming is actually great I thought as my voice went horse and I collapsed on the floor my knees pressed to my chest.

Thinking of Lira and what she's been through, stupidly thinking I knew the whole story, her story. But she'd only showed me a chapter of her.

My mind went into overdrive with the new information that Finn had given me, wondering how the hell does someone whose spent 17 and a half years on this planet go through that much shit and still come out normal.

"But she isn't normal" the voice in my head spoke.

"Think about it, do normal people climb on rooftops?"
No.

"Do normal people trespass on city property without a second thought?"
No.

"Do normal people even talk the way that she does?"

No.

The one sided conversation happening inside my head was driving me a little mad.
But my inner monologue made a point, she isn't normal. She never was.

Maybe that's why I was so drawn to her, I knew she looked beautiful but that wasn't what pulled me in.

It was the way she could say the truth but there'd still be 100s of undertones.
The way she could smile right at you and make you feel like I you're the only person that matters in the world.

Selfishly I wanted her, God I want her. I want so badly to be the one that get the Lira Anderson smile that could light up this entire city.

I looked up at the drainpipe, the absence of the silver penny board was all to clear as I climbed up sitting on the rooftop looking out at the skyline.

My head was calm and clear up here even with the noise going on with my messy head it seemed to melt away up here.

And I understood what Lira meant when we first met about seeing clearly from up here. Damn was she right, I wasn't surprised by that though.

I stood up on the wall that separates the gutter from the roof.

Maybe I'm crazy? I thought to myself as I turned my head skyward standing to my full height upon the roof.

I pulled a spliff from my pocket speaking up as I walked up and down the little wall without a care in the world.

I shut my eyes again retreating into my head, replaying the last few months.

Lira and I running, skating, smoking, drinking and every laugh. I smiled I could hear her singing in the subway, I could hear her soft moans as I kissed the sensitive part behind her ear, I could hear her cry as she told me about her mum.

I let out a sigh opening my eyes to see that I'd walked to the far end of the wall where it was a straight drop to the pavement below.

"Watch yourself skater" the voice froze me to the spot.

I couldn't tell if I'd imagined it or not, almost to scared to see if it's in my head or not. But much to my surprise there she was.

Her long curls were pulled half up, the rest flowing down her denim jacket covered back. One leg hung carelessly over the edge swinging in the summer breeze, while the other bent up acting as a chin rest as she blew the smoke away into the cotton ball clouds.
She didn't look at me.

I was still frozen to the spot on the edge of the roofs wall wondering if the fall would be better than the inevitable conversation.

I was seriously considering it, but logic won over my dramatic teenage boy brain. And I went and set next to her not saying a word to one and other, just enjoying the semi-silence that being up so high provides. The only sound was our breaths.

"Lira" I finally said softly. She didn't look at me, she only heaved a sigh dropping her gaze downwards.
I wasn't sure what was going on in her head right now.

"Chéri" I whispered booking my middle and pointer finger gently under her chin turning her to face me.

Her golden eyes were bloodshot either from the smoke or she'd been crying.
I watched her throat muscles go up and down as she took a deep breath.

"I guess you want to know where I've been." Her eyes closed as my hand found her cheek softly brushing it with the calloused pad of my thumb, she didn't seem to mind the roughness though.

Her eyes flicked open staring into my green eyes.

"Only if you want to tell me." My voice only just above a whisper. She smiled, it was small but it was a smile.

Her hand came up to cover mine softly stroking it.

"I didn't run from you, you have to know that" she said looking ashamed.
The anger I felt early after talking with Finn returned because she felt ashamed and embarrassed by what that guy had done to her.

I could tell she was gearing up to tell me about him and I was killing her I couldn't see her like it.

"Li" I said taking her hand in mine turning my body so one leg swung off the roof and the other sat in the dry gutter.

She looked at me sadness in her beautiful eyes.

"I know about him, about Sam" my teeth gritted saying the name, but I remained calm for her sake.

The sadness in her eyes quickly went to frantic and on edge.

"W-whhat?" Her voice trembling. Oh Lira I thought as tears sprang from the corners of her eyes.

I didn't speak neither Did she I just wrapped my long arms around her letting her cry on my shoulder for however long she needed. She finally looked up at me.

Her mask back on in seconds flat, still haven't decided if that's cool or terrifying how she can mask herself away so quickly and convincingly.

"So I'm guessing you saw Finn?" She asked me rolling up a spliff. I just nodded.

"And he told you about.." she stopped taking a breath "Sam" she finally said focusing on not dropping her weed off the roof.
I just nodded again.

"Where is Finn?" She asked looking at me with a rolled spliff between her lips.

I was waiting for the jealously to kick in but it didn't. He was her best friend and they needed eachother.

"Secrets" I said smiling at her. Lira looked at me a smiled back.

"Come on then" she said jumping down without using the drainpipe.

"One day you might actually need to your ankles" I winked at her as I followed her down. And onto the street.

"No board today?" I asked. Lira smiled sadly and shook her head.

"I left it in London." She said. So that's where she'd been. I didn't push for details I knew I'd get them when she was ready.

"Come on then" I said. She looked at me perplexed. The crease in her brow still completely endearing.

"Just stand on the front of the deck chéri" I laughed as he face went from confused to understanding.

I climbed on behind her as we skated down the path. Smiling and laughing like she'd never even left. I lent down and whispered in her ear

"Mon Dieu, tu m'as manqué chéri" kissing her softly on the cheek. And before I knew it we were at the bridge into secrets.

Lira stood there in the middle of the bridge. Holding my hand.

"Li you okay?" I asked standing in front of her hold her hands in mine. She smiled at me to my surprise.

She walked closer to me until we were chest to chest. Her golden eyes looking deeply into my green ones.

"I missed you too" she whispered before pulling me into an electrifying kiss, every nerve woke up just like they did everytime I kissed her.

"Come on" she said pulling me over the bridge, and to the cast iron gate.