undefinable.
i have many emotions that are undefinable.
i can't describe the feelings i get the day after a rainstorm or when the sun sets early in the winter.
happiness and sadness are easy to define or recognize . sometimes i have emotion that I cannot identify.
i will tell you one thing. don't give up. I have felt the dizziness that these three words bring. each time, they steal away at the small collection of faith I hold that promises that everything will eventually be okay.
"i give up," they told me with those circles beneath their eyes and heart with a beat that is nearing the end of a song. those word ... those words are the words that break me. that is because everyday we're all trying our best to keep it together and when I see someone pinned down to the ground with the heaviness life brings, I'm afraid I'll soon be right there next to them.
in a way I want to be next to them to support them and tell them that it's going to be okay. but if I'm with them to help them then who will help me. i'll be pinned to the ground all alone. I can't be there. I won't allow it.
i really don't know where my head is today. I haven't been well. I've been so lost.
actually I found a lover. really they're only in my head. ah how I wish the things I dream were real. I hate life.
unbalanced.
I wish things were simple. I want them to be simple. but the never are. not with us, not with you, not with anyone. I'll always be wanting something that I simply cannot have.
I can't bare with life today. let me get lost in my headspace.
goodbye
~signed by me
-_-
