Yo. I'm paying a visit. After a long break and realizing maybe my life isn't so bad, I decided to come back.
Reading over the way my life sounded so shitty before made me think was it actually though. Like really it wasn't. Just a slight slip up yknow. I'm actually doing well. There are days where I do feel the way I used to but it's not everyday anymore. It more like once in a blue moon or however that saying goes. But I'm better. My daydreams still continue but they're not to escape the sadness or depression. They are to calm me and keep me in check. Maybe they aren't so bad. Maybe it's okay if I have this illness. It may be distracting at times but it's fine. Still upset that it isn't real. Isn't that what everyone feel with is illness? Yes, I think yes. I answered the question for you by the way in case you didn't notice.
Anyway just wanted to pop in and be like what's up bitches. I actually aged yknow. I'm grown now. I ain't got time for that stupid pussy shit. Like I ain't no bitch. Well sometimes I am but you get the gist of it.
I'm living life decently. When I wrote the other parts of this I was doing so bad in school I just wanted my life to end. I was like let's end it here after all I'm not getting anywhere. Little do I know I was getting somewhere I just needed a little push. That push was me realizing my worth and maybe I'm not just a useless nobody. I'm kinda like cool or whatever. i found new people. People who make me feel as though I belong And maybe I'm not just some clump of body mass taking up space in the earth. I'm sorta someone. And it's not just in my head anymore. I'm still discovering and learning about myself. I'm actually trying to get to know me.
I'm putting in effort. I have days though where they aren't the best. You're probably thinking , Doesn't everyone ? Well what I mean by that is I have like these off days where emotion is blank. It's kinda weird it's the day where I'm most trapped in my head. They used to come because of how sad I was and shit like that. But now they just appear out of no where. They have a mind of their own. They're just like hey yo just poppin in to ruin your great mood of the day. it's time to feel like shit. It's honestly a shitty feeling but I got used to it.
I'm ranting oops. I was just supposed to say hello and be like yo my life is better and I'm still alive, surprise! But no I had to run my fucking mouth and talk stupid shit that no one cares about.
Oh look my pick me phase has appeared. Im probably signing off I mean it's 3 a.m. yup that hast changed my sleeping schedule is still shit. but yknow it's okay.
Now for real I'm leaving i have shit to do.
~ signed by me
♡'･ᴗ･'♡
- what the fuck is that
Chao
<3
