Iypophrenia
- a vague feeling of sadness seemingly without any cause
I'm starting it like that. there isn't much that I have to say. simply because I've been living my life laying on bed binge watching shows for the past 2 weeks. nothing has happened. I decided to write only to pop in and say hello. I also read my recent journal and the thought that ran through my head was like "am i okay?"
actually I was laughing. I'm kinda cringe haha. like what even. I'm so emotional like stop it.
I'm gonna go post and be like " don't hmu 💔🥀😔🖤 only the real ones know"
Haha please that's too funny. I legit am a ball of a bunch of emotions mostly sadness but like there is that sudden burst of energy. currently that bust of energy decided to pay me a visit. I am getting better. I decided to isolate myself from the world. I guess that helped.
I have a friend who wanted to hang out later it's currently 4:56 a.m. I cannot sleep. that is normal. but like I'm gonna be in a bitchy mood just cause I haven't eaten or slept.
actually I'm gonna head to the convenience store. they got some good snacks and the vibe is different at this time. I'm not trying to have another encounter where I'm pushed and told that I'm a living piece of shit cause I'm not in the mood for that. let me eat my snacks first then you can talk shit.
bag secured. I'm sitting in my car at the moment drinking a lovely Red Bull. i'm low key addicted like I've tried all the flavors except for green apple. today is the day that I try it.
ok that was a disappointment it's a basic taste of green apple nothing new. don't know what I was excepting.
actually the dude that works here is pretty chill. I got their snap. and we kinda talked about how life is total shit. pretty great conversation if I do say so myself. we relate to each other a bit.
I'm kinda just typing as I do things. cause there isn't much for me to talk about.
I'm probably gonna finish this show and take a like an hour nap and get ready for what the day has for me.
sometimes I read over my little rants when I'm bored and I realize that I'm such a bitch. like why the fuck do I talk as if I have such a horrible life. I mean it's better that most people's life. Why the hell do I complain. such and ungrateful fuck. ha I sound like my mother. man she's right I need to get my shit together. I mean I don't need to but like she wants me to. growing up I was like I only live to try and not disappoint but like I've failed at that. therefore I should totally die.
if I don't write in this little journal in my notes anymore I'm definitely dead. there is nothing to it.
oh my god damn it there I go again sounding like a fucking annoying ass bratty 6th grader who claims to be depressed. oh my guess what I took a depression test on google and they said I was depressed. so quirky oh my god hehe.
I need to shut the fuck up what even is this. I can't deal with myself. am I really laughing at my own jokes. pathetic.
yeah I'm leaving bye.
~signed by me
T_T\"
