We stood in a terribly lit pink bedroom
American girl dolls, barbies, books and stuffed animals had made their home in various corners
of the room, messy but a kindergartener's paradise.
A digital Cyclops awakened as a grandmother who was more of a mother directed the group of
giggling six year olds to stand so they fit in the frame.
This was a picture perfect moment, this little girl was the center of her grandmothers world.
"On the count of three"
As the bright light went off, in that moment she saw heaven on Earth in the form of a little girl
with gingerbread skin, waist length tree bark hair and a homemade dinosaur print dress with
cowboy boots.
We waited impatiently for the film to develop.
When it finally rolled through the top of the camera with a whirring sound,
Everyone was gone.
I held a purple camera that I asked my Grandma for, in the room that got painted grey as my
Xmas gift when I was 15.
The picture from my 6th birthday is in a frame, amongst many other images that captured the
people I don't talk to anymore, they're all ghosts now.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, eleven years had gone by
A 17 year old who rarely smiled a genuine smile or looked people in the eye glared back at me
It wasn't cold out but she still had a flannel over a tank top along with black jeans and heavy
boots on.
I looked closer at her and touched her hair, what happened to the length that Grandma brushed
everyday and put ribbons in while she watched cartoons before school? It hasn't been that long
in ten years.
Something was sticking out of the flannel pockets, a lighter and a black plastic tube that smelled
There were no dolls and stuffed animals no Barbies remained on the shelves.
The shelves instead were filled with books about far away places or magical lands with fictional
characters that became her closest friends.
I faced a group a teenagers , both boys and girls
Such different faces than the ones on the walls, they were almost done with high school and
weren't so innocent and cute as the ghosts, their eyes had seen more but not everything yet.
"On the count of three!"
Another click, another flash
The teenagers were gone and I was alone again
Not just in my mind, but in the four walls of my room too
Today I am a couple inches taller, thats odd I stopped growing when I was twelve...
I look down at my feet and see that somewhere along the line I traded in my docs for
stilettos and a white dress
Examining my hand,I see that I fell in love with someone who proposed to me despite my
flaws
The walls are not pink or even grey but burgundy and I wonder if all the blood I shed
as a teenager painted the walls and made the pictures slide off the walls
But there is no twin sized bed, there is a queen sized bed that still looks slept in
Today there will be no pictures taken in this room where my entire life took place
Instead they will be taken at the altar, at the reception
Theres one of my infamous shoeboxes that I keep my memories in, the one I open
contains ghosts on film who attended a princess party when they were six years old,
me and my first love at prom, best friends and graduations, now faces I cannot put
names to anymore but once meant everything to me who move and talk as they were;
I remember these people but I blinked before I could ask for their names.
