Are you one of us?

23. Hearts stop beating.

He was sitting on his bed, just looking into the distance.
His thoughts kept crawling back to that one night, to the memories he had with her, to the girl that is always on his mind.
Y/N...

"I miss you...". He cried out as the tears rolled down his cheeks.
"So fucking much".

He had been reckless in mission, he didn't care anymore if he lived or died, so the last mission just he ran into the enemy's house. Only one loaded gun and no protection.
He got shot two times, he fell down to his knees. They hand brought his to the hospital and the boys remembered the little smile on his face when he laid on the hospital bed.
They knew what he was doing, god everyone knew. Even the enemy's.

The boys forbid him to go on a mission for a while. Surprisingly enough he agreed, but little did the boys know what he was planning on doing.

A few nights after Namjoon forbid him to go on a mission, the boys had left Taehyung to watch Jungkook but when Jungkook wasn't answering Taehyung that got him worried. He ran up the stairs and opened the bathroom door.

Taehyung caught Jungkook sitting in the bathroom with a gun near his heart, the same way he had when Y/N died.
He ran to him and snatched the gun from his grip, curses and yells filled the bathroom but Jungkook just sat still.
He just looked in front of him, Taehyung looked at him that night and saw the pain and guilt in his eyes.

Remember Jungkook, It wasn't your fault.

Her words echoed through his mind but even though Y/N had said that he, blamed himself for her death.
Ever since that day the boys took everything out of his room that could potentially kill him.
Razors, glass, his weapons, etc.
But one thing stayed there, his medicine, his painkillers.
The boys thought those were innocent, and couldn't kill him, but oh how were they wrong...

Jungkook still sat in his bed, staring at the only picture left in his wall, a picture of Y/N...
He took his phone out and clicked on voicemails, Y/N once left a voicemail.

"Hee Kook. It is me, Y/N. I am calling to check in on you because when you left the house this morning you seemed upset."
Jungkook smiled and continued to listen.

"If anything is wrong or you need a person to talk to I'm there if you need me. You would need my passwords to my room though"
Her laugh echoed through the room, he missed it.

He listened to it at least a 100 times but it still brought back a smile on his face.
Jungkook closed his eyes and imagined it all over again.
Her touch, her laugh, her hugs, her voice.
He missed everything so much, he missed her so much.

He opened his eyes and he eyed the bottle of painkillers. Jungkook reached for them and opened the bottle.
Staring at the door, the door that kept him away from the world, away from his friends.
His friends were behind it, he knew that he shouldn't do this. It would cause them much pain but the pain he felt was unbearable. Jungkook wanted it too stop, and just like that he didn't think about the consequences anymore.

"Call me when you get this okay?" Y/N spoke and then the voicemail stopped.
"I will but not though the phone baby, I will come to you now...".
"You were my light when I was in the dark... and now I will follow that light to find my way towards you. I held you in my heart but soon I can hold you in my arms again, i love you..."

Jungkook opened the bottle and took the pills he swallowed them all, it were at least 20 pills.
He felt his body slowly go numb, he laid on his bed and closed his eyes.

He looked to his right and saw Y/N laying next to him with a sad smile.
"You don't have to do this Kook... you can be happy again. You just need to fight a little longer."
Her voice was soft, just like he remembered her.
"But I'm so tired Y/N... I just want the pain to be gone and see you again...".